New here want help with myself

I believe that most of my life I've had issues with depression more than likely some bipolar manic issues as well although undiagnosed here's my story that was a catalyst for me coming here... I had recently been on Prozac for a couple months but went off the meds due to inability to get in to see my doctor like I should last weekend my wife and I went out on a date night I had overindulged as well as her but things were going great. I got really upset over losing some money completely unrelated to our evening but I could not get over it would not come down and I had hit the dashboard of the car a couple times and she became more anime and angry herself that I needed to calm down and stop hitting the car next thing I know and mind you I'm piecing a lot of this together still over a week later we got into a fight over her phone because she tried to kick me out of the car... long story short what B I can even remember we both got into a physical fight and I went to jail for the first time in my life and cannot contact her currently or returned to our home... my wife and several people friends and co-workers included had all been able to tell that the meds had helped me a good deal and when I was no longer on them was also told that they could tell that I was getting bad in my right mind I would never put my hands on this woman she's my best friend's I love her a great stepmother to my son and I still can't piece these things together she has been pushing me to get help to try to talk to a counselor now I feel like I have lost everything I've had many thoughts about hurting myself in the past but never as serious as I've had this past week I have not had a desire to drink and mind you I have been a heavy drinker for over 10 years and almost daily and it may be a situation where it's too late to really save things but I want to continue going through with the help because I realized that I have several underlying issues and want to get better