Giving Advice
Hello all! I need some advice on not giving advice! I had a someone in my chat ask me for advice, but I know as a listener I'm not supposed to do this. I just find it rude telling them that I can't give them advice. I think I handled it well by asking them what their gut feeling was telling them to do, but I still felt bad about it. Any "advice" would be appreciated!
@YourFriendAshley For what it's worth, I would handle it the same way you did.
I agree with you that it seems rude to tell the member they can't have what they've just said they want. It invalidates the member's feeling. I think it's much better to focus on their feeling with an open question, the way you did.
Another approach is to reflect the feeling of needing advice, itself: "You feel you need someone else's advice on this." Then you can follow up with an open question, maybe like, "Who do you feel would be the best person to advise you?"
However, different listeners handle this in different ways. I think some listeners just go ahead and give advice, perhaps disguising it as a question or in some other way. And maybe some listeners do escape their own discomfort by invalidating the member's feeling of needing advice.
Charlie
