Why Do Some People Prefer Female Listeners/Members? Exploring the Reasons and Implications
Hi everyone, I’m a listener here on 7Cups and I’ve noticed a trend that some people prefer to talk to women only or they prefer women over men to have a communication with. I’m curious about the reasons behind this preference and how it affects the quality of the listening experience.
I’m not here to judge anyone’s choice or to say that one gender is better than another. I just want to understand the perspective of both the members and the listeners who have this preference. Maybe we can learn something from each other and improve our skills as listeners.
I have some questions.
1. Why do you prefer to talk to women only or women over men?
2. How do you feel when you can’t find a female listener or when you are matched with a male listener?
3. What are some of the benefits and challenges of talking to women only or women over men?
4. How do you think this preference affects the rapport and trust between the member and the listener?
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. Please share them in the comments below. Let’s have a respectful and constructive discussion. Thank you for being part of this amazing community. 💜
Hey @iNomNom, do you want members (ones seeking support) to participate in this discussion and shares their views?
Because currently the post is in a listener's only sub community, and isn't accessible/ visible to members!
If you'd like this to be moved to a public forum, for everyone, feel free to let me know!^^
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Yes please, I want it to be public.
wow I never really realized this…
I think my reason is my paranoia to men. I have had bad experiences in the past, and I am always on the lookout to the point I almost panic when there is a guy that does not normally exit the bus at the same time as me, and I have to make sure that he does not follow me. I think it is called Androphobia? It affects me very badly, and it’s the reason why I prefer women, irl too. What adds to it, is that the first male listener on here directly asked for private stuff. Blocked him, of course. But after that, I decided to just not try anymore. If I couldn’t find female listeners, I would rather just wait until one is available or look carefully for a “good” male listener, which, in this case, would be like a week of exceeding my expectations. It is unfair, I know, but it’s the only way I know I can protect myself:(
@alicethefrog
That having bad experience with men and suffering from androphobia must be very difficult and stressful for you. I'm sorry to hear that you have had bad experiences in the past 😢
I understand your preference for talking to women only or women over men. You have the right to choose who you want to talk to and what makes you feel comfortable and safe. I respect your choice and I don’t judge you for it.
Thank you for sharing your comment with me. I appreciate your honesty and courage. ^°^
I have had a number of male listeners, and am happy with the good ones.
There have been occasions where I reached out to a particular listener and their gender was part of the factor of who I reached out to. When that happens the bigger issue is
Misogyny and sexism
And I think this answers most of your questions for quite a few people in a big picture way. It doesn't mean listeners here are misogynistic or sexist (although that is a factor at times). It's the world at large. We live in a world where men hurt women simply because of their gender. Women often do things simply to stay safe that many men have never even gave a single thought to. Many women here have been directly harmed physically and emotionally by men, and there's indirect harm for (almost?) all of us.
@AffyAvo
Thank you for your comment. I’m glad that you have had some good experiences with male listeners here . I hope that they were respectful and supportive of you. 😊
And I agree with you that misogyny and sexism are big issues that affect many women in the world. It’s sad and unfair that women have to face discrimination, violence, and oppression because of their gender. So I can understand that some women might prefer to talk to other women who can relate to their struggles and challenges.
I’m sorry if you have been harmed by men in any way, directly or indirectly. That must have been very painful and traumatic for you. 😢
Thank you again for sharing your perspective and experience with us. I appreciate your wisdom and strength.
@iNomNom
Because men will be men
@iNomNom great question. Sometimes the reason is to understand female view without being judged. There are topics men want to know from female but can't.
@iNomNom As a man, I can understand why some people might prefer female listeners over male listeners. I believe it's not about one gender being better than the other, but rather a matter of personal preference, comfort and past experiences (trauma).
What are your thoughts?
Work Cited
@iNomNom Because they are more Caring like and nice?
@iNomNom
I honestly don't have much of a preference between male and female listeners. I believe both female and male listeners can be just as compassionate and caring for the members and vice versa. But I also believe it depends on certain topics. I do plan to find a female listener since I am mindful of certain topics that I feel I would prefer to share with another female than with a male.
But other than that, I had a male listener that found me weeks ago, like a day after I was trying to get matched. He was the best so far that listened to my problems and experiences that I've been through. I had both a male and female listener prior to him, and both of them barely responded further after I share most of my story. So I've been continuing to talk to my male listener ever since.