Learning to Open up I guess

Hi, Im new, so Im just getting used to this. Im not good at seeking help, but I want to be better, I think. I always find it hard to get into something, but once Im in it, I lock into it, but then drop it. Hopefully, this is something that sticks.

My mental health has slowly declined and deteriorated through these last months. So I've been thinking about therapy, but sadly, I dont have insurance, so I wouldn't want to get my family to pay for something that they dont think is necessary. All these online therapies end up just wanting to take your money, and so far, 7Cups seems to be nice. The community is diverse and kind. I haven't gotten to a Listener yet because im nervous, so idk. Its nice that its an optional thing to pay for the extra stuff, but I'm glad there's something free for me and people alike. I find it hard to talk to people and push myself out there so I'll just start with these threads. I want to feel better, I really do, but I feel like Im not strong enough. I dont self-harm so Im grateful it hasn't gotten to that. But its just a dread that I feel that drags me down. Then I just want to cry and I feel soft or annoying even thinking about it. I don't want to rant so Ill just end it there.