I feel like I'm not present in my own life or relationship
Hello, I'm 21and im new here.. I wanted to talk to ppl about my situation... because it hurts me so much. I really don't know what's wrong with me and I honestly I can't afford the help I need so badly neither cant I escape it. I think i'm a pretty bad person atleast in my eyes. My girlfriend broke up with me recently she called me a coward for not being committed in a relationship after two years and a half...when it's complicated we both are online just by a state away. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I'm just lost. I feel so stressful and depressed almost everyday. Sometimes I feel just really awful some days and makes me think about "why am I still here" "why do I take this daily and why can't I find the strength to get out despite my severe depression"
I feel very trapped in my own living situation. My parents are somewhat controlling usually verbally abusing me daily and if I don't do what they say they'll break my personal items..I don't have the money to really get out... I had a go fund me page but it didn't really work out..
@Jewels2270 hi I'm lola ❤welcome to our cups family, I'm glad you found 7 cups ❤ this is the perfect place to start getting support and help with your problems. I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out, but your very young to be committing to a serious relationship. So don't worry your princess will come along oneday when your ready ❤ wow! Your parents seem overly controlling😥 I'm sorry sweetie that really sucks. Hopefully this site will give you the support you deserve, to get a better life for you ❤ and I'm sure you'll make some good friends on your journey here ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ welcome to cups ❤
Thank you I wish I could get the help I deserve,.. honestly but it's never gonna happen 👍
@Jewels2270
Hey buddy i'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this.It sounds incredibly tough & painful.Please know that you're not alone!And Firstly,please know that you're not a bad person.You're struggling with difficult circumstances & that's okay.It takes courage to acknowledge your struggles & I'm proud of you for reaching out.It's understandable that you're feeling lost,stressed & depressed.Your situation with your parents,the recent breakup & financial struggles can be overwhelming.Please know that you don't deserve to be verbally abused or controlled.You deserve respect, kindness & support.And Since your *** page didn't work out,have you considered reaching out to local mental health resources,support groups or hotlines?Some organizations offer free or low-cost counseling.Remember, you don't have to face this alone,keep talking & let's work through this together.You got this!
Since I live in the US they aren't very helpful hotlines. I want to try therapy,but I'm iffy about it. Even if I can go to therapy there's no where of walking distance I could go. So I have no transportation. I tried online chats like here but they are usually empty or keep giving me not the best answers for my situation because it's complicated.
To be honest, my gf was the best person I could ask for, she was like my personal therapist and always trying to help me financially or thru small gifts for me just to be happy again,recently she told me; " she wanted to keep me by her side so SHE can be a BETTER PERSON" what does that mean? :/
but ya know I ruined it as usual but maybe I should be happy that she's not suffering with me anymore.
@Jewels2270
I understand your concerns about hotlines & therapy access.Transportation can be a significant barrier.Regarding your girlfriend's statement,it sounds like she was saying that being with you & supporting you helped her grow & become a better person.It's a testament to the positive impact you had on her life.However,it's also important to recognize that her statement might have been a sign of her own emotional labor & potential burnout.Supporting someone with severe depression & difficult circumstances can be overwhelming,even for the most caring & supportive partner.It's understandable that you feel guilty & think you ruined the relationship,but remember that relationships involve two people & it's not solely your responsibility.Your girlfriend made her own choices & it's possible she needed to prioritize her own well-being.
Consider exploring online therapy options that cater to your specific needs. Some platforms offer financial aid or sliding-scale fees.I would have helped you to research some platforms but because 7 cups is not letting me send those names i'm not able to.
Please remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve support and care, even if it's not from a romantic partner!
It's fine if you can't send the names I probably couldn't do it anyways. It doesn't feel like I'm seeking help but thanks anyways.