How do I get over this breakup?
Hello! I'm Fiya and I've recently gone through a breakup. For context; we broke up because we didn't want the same things, I wasn't ready for some stuff and neither was he, we have very different family backgrounds, his family is very supportive, mine... not so much. He has a series of mental illnesses, one of the major ones being tourette's syndrome. He and I were best friends for 3 years before we got together and we were together for a year. We broke up on January 6th 2025. He was my first relationship and I was his. He and I are still good friends but now I just feel kind of uncomfortable. When we broke up, I brush it off quickly because I had some work I needed to catch up on, so i didn't give myself a chance to actually let the effects of breaking up settle in, I didn't cry or anything about it, I just worked like crazy. But now that work has settle down, all the effects are coming in at once, at nights I cry, everyday so far I've been down and nothing motivates me. I tried talking to him about it but I quickly broke the conversation because I felt uncomfortable and I thought that wasnt fair to him. We don't seem like we're going to get back together and I'm fine with that, but I can't stop feeling so worthless. He was the only person who actually showed me genuine love and care. He was the only person I felt comfortable with telling everything to and doing things with.. now, I don't ever want to talk, I'm never motivated to do anything with him, if anything, I'm avoiding him and he keeps trying to catch my attention over and over again. He got me to stop bottling up my emotions, he was the only person I stayed trued too, but now, I don't even tell him anything. It hurt like *** when we broke up, but I didn't allow myself the chance to feel anything then, maybe I should have. I have no idea how he's feeling, at first, he wasnt doing good, it bothered him like crazy but now, I think he's doing okay. I don't know. How do I get over all of this?
Can someone help me... please?
@Fiyaa06
Hey Fiya,
First, I just want to say that what you're feeling is completely valid. Breakups, especially when it’s your first relationship and someone who has been such a huge part of your life, hit in ways we don’t always expect. The way you initially coped by diving into work was your mind’s way of protecting you, but now that things have slowed down, all those emotions are catching up. And that’s okay. It’s painful, but it’s also part of the healing process.
It sounds like he was not just a boyfriend but also a safe space for you, someone who made you feel seen and cared for. Losing that no matter how mutual or logical the breakup was leaves a void, and it’s natural to feel lost for a while. You’re not worthless, even if it feels that way. You are someone who gave love, received love, and is now navigating a huge emotional shift. That takes strength.
Right now, it might help to give yourself some space from him. Staying friends immediately after a breakup, especially when emotions are still raw, can sometimes make it harder to heal. It’s okay to take a step back and focus on *you*. That doesn’t mean you’re abandoning the friendship, it just means you need time to rebuild yourself outside of the relationship dynamic.
Also, don’t be afraid to sit with your feelings. Let yourself cry, journal, create, scream into a pillow if you need to. Avoiding emotions only delays healing. And please, be kind to yourself. Healing isn’t linear some days will feel better, others will be tough, but each day, you’re moving forward.
Lean on other friends, engage in things that bring you even the smallest comfort, and remind yourself that *you were whole before this relationship, and you are still whole now*. It just takes time to find that version of yourself again.
You’re not alone in this, and I promise it won’t always feel this heavy. One day, the pain will lessen, the memories won’t sting as much, and you’ll feel like yourself again maybe an even stronger version of yourself. Until then, take it one step at a time. You’ve got this. ❤️
Thank you! I really can't think of any long paragraph(s) to come up with but thank you, I'm trying not get attracted again but it really hurts, I'll try and take some me time to heal. Thank you again so much.
@Fiyaa06
i had a breakup 3 hours back , i did not clear my examinations , i am a disappointment to my parents and was thinking to e*d it but i searched up google and got to know about this website and found that i am not alone and got like 1% of hope , dont worry i also gave all in my relationship but she thought to leave me . but i cant stop crying and am begging for help
Hey, no it's okay! Please don't e*d it all. I can't tell you how many times I've gone down that rabbit hole, and just when I thought I was being pulled up, it's like something c*t the rop* and I fell back down. If you want, you and I can go in chat and talk about how you're feeling all you would like, I'll listen to you if you need to talk, and I'll listen when you don't talk. I don't know you, but I don't want you to go. You're not a failure and don't think of yourself as one, you're more than capable of doing anything you put your mind to. So what if you failed exams? There's always a second chance, and a third, and many more. There's only one good thing about failing and that's knowing where you fell, how hard you fell and what you need to do to get back up. We're not meant to go through anything alone. If you need someone to talk to, I'm right here, if you want, we can can have a chat somewhere and whenever you need/want to talk, I'll be there. Don't give up! Please❤
@Fiyaa06 i just joined and your post was the first one and it literally was same , this made me think i am not alone and gave me some hope thanks a lot for hearing me out it means a lot , although i should help you out too but i am not in a good condition , neither are you , but i will try my best to help you.
It's okay! I just want to make sure you're okay first. For me, I like helping others before myself. So please take care of yourself. You can contact me on ***, @shnookie__
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