Suicidal hints in messages, how do you deal with it?

@friendlyPower3533

give them the line

@friendlyPower3533

I think more so than ever finding ways to talk to them in very real based ways to improve life, and gently pushing them to not continue isolating is helpful. Explaing to them that even small changes, and being around more people, involvement in healthy social activitues shows dramtic changes of perceptiin. Give the crisis number also, and explain that talking to a person thats trained allows you to have a real-time voice, and nit to be shy. If you never done that yourself, you can tell them that talking helps with anxiety, and to feel less isolated which is what their goal should be. Changes of perceptiional emotions are like the weather, and people helping people brings the sunshine out and helps blow away the clouds.

I've personally been in crisis many times and have called the hotlines many times, but its important if they are only making miderate true statements like you said: not to abandon them. Suggest after your chat is done, to give the hitline a try. And tell them you don't have to be in crisis to call, they are there for moral support and would be happy to talk.

Blessings

@friendlyPower3533 Here are my thoughts.

When any listener is having difficulty or doubts about a chat, there's a button at the top of the chat so the listener can get immediate support from other listeners. It's the button with the question mark on it, and it connects to the Listener Support Room where there should always be help available.

You ask the question, "how do you deal with it?" Listeners are here so that members can feel heard, valued and understood. It is not for us, as listeners, to deal with the situations that members describe by finding solutions to problems. That's because we are not experts and not professionals, and we should not pretend to be.

When a member is not in any kind of crisis, it would be very wrong to refer them to the crisis resources ( 7cups.com/crisis ). It's important to be fully accepting of what members tell us. If a member clarifies that he is not considering suicide, then it's important to be able to accept that he is not considering suicide.

Messages like "dying is better than living like this" are a way of explaining how painful and intolerable someone's situation is. Listeners need to be able to accept that everyone's life is indeed painful and intolerable at times, and to reflect members' most difficult feelings with warmth and compassion.

For these reasons I would not reject a member by referring them to crisis support when they are not in crisis.

By the way, if there really is a crisis, it's important not to advise any member to go to a website or call a number unless you have established what country the member is in, so you can be certain the website or the number are correct for the member. Do not advise a member in some other country to use a website or helpline in your own country!

Charlie

@friendlyPower3533 i will do it only in extreme cases... only if the person is seriously threatening to make it done xD Sometimes people are just feeling very drepessed and insicure.. they are going through a ruff time and they think there is no solution, they feel hopeless.. but actually as a listener we are here to give hope.. to make them feel normal again.. when they start to see that they dont think of dying anymore!

@friendlyPower3533

Yes you do reffer the links, you never know what the real risk is, though unfortunately most of them do it in silence without announcing...

For many others it is a form of lamentation, expressing the feeling that they cannot take it anymore, whether mental or emotional or physical...

It is just a form of saying "I cannot take it anymore, I cannot bare it anymore", it both helps them to vent expressing it and it draws attention and awareness to their suffering, a cry for help...

@friendlyPower3533

Hi,

I think if someone clarifies that they are not sucidial it's merely expression of the pain/frustation they are feeling and to only respond in stronger empathetic terms. I have actually used a similar phrase once with a relative during a crisis but for me it was a different matter. That individual understood better what I was trying to express, became supportive and was able to console me both with words and physcially (a hug). I have actually written to others: sending a big hug your way as a form of empathy. And, it feels nice actually on text to recieve those words, as words are powerful as we know and can give love. But, importantly, if you are not equipped emotionally or otherwise to handle that level of frustation/pain from another, perhaps you can suggest a recommendation of talking to a higher trained/mentor listener. Do it in a gentle manner.

One of the reasons that I have also stopped using my listener's account on here is due to the fact that it felt i was being trolled. And, it was a waste of my time being here. Although, not everyone appeared that way and I would have to say this site has been helpful quite a bit on my journey.