TW Overdose & Misscarriage

I have PCOS and I’m currently being investigated for endometriosis. I was having what I thought was a ‘flare up’ of my PCOS where I bleed very heavily and have a lot of cramp.

I knew the pain I was experiencing this time round wasn’t normal to what I’m used to so I called my GP and got a telephone appointment. At the end of the appointment I received a text off my GP asking me to take a pregnancy test.

I took two tests as soon as I received the text and they both instantly came up as faint positives. I of course got so excited as I’ve had multiple miscarriages in the past.

I told my partner and he was over the moon, he told me he was going to ask if we could start trying properly but he was scared to ask me as I had just lost my dad a month ago and was unsure if it was the right time to ask.

We bought another two tests and took them about 4 hours later, they came back negative so I instantly started to worry.

My GP rang me this morning and asked me to come into the surgery as my pain was getting worse. When me and my partner went in, my GP gave me a letter and said I needed to go to A&E as he thought we were having an ectopic pregnancy.

We went to A&E straight away, I had my bloods taken and done a urine sample. I was sat for hours holding my stomach and crying in agony.

The doctor finally called us through to tell us we had a miscarriage. They gave me codeine and paracetamol for the pain and advised to do another home test in a week.

I am absolutely heartbroken and I can’t help but blame myself because of all of the overdoses I have taken. I have taken 6 overdoses since the 19th July.

Last Saturday I drank a full [edited] of oramorph and 8 antibiotics, I 100% think that is what has caused this miscarriage and I just can’t cope.

I have an interview tomorrow for the ambulance service and I’m so nervous now, this has just pushed me back to rock bottom and I just don’t know how much more I can take.

[edited by @theriverissinging to remove drug dosages, deleted duplicate thread, forum guidelines here]