Loss,PTSD, Childhood Trauma

Hello… I am opening wounds here. I am sharing some pretty hard sh**. I know we all have a story to tell and some are harder than others. I’ve suffered much loss in my life. I lost my mother at age 6, she died before my eyes. They came and took her away one day and I never saw again. Left all alone, with no understanding of what occurred I was sexually abused by the man who was left to care for me. After a couple of days, my uncle came and got me and I was sent to live with different relatives. I attempted my first suicide at age 7 again at age 8. I just wanted to be with my mom. No one wanted me, I was just pushed around from home to home.

I was sent to Florida at age 11 to live with an uncle and aunt, my Fathers bother and their young son. Drug addicts, I learned at an early age how to cook, clean and pick up hypodermic needle’s off the floor. So many years of methadone clinics, being shot at by cops, having the house surrounded by DEA, and ATF.

Such a great childhood… I was a teenage alcoholic by the time I was 16. Trying to escape the pain. My aunt left us one day, she had enough. Now I was the woman of the house.

Anyway long story short, I’ve attempted suicide 5 more times , been in more mental facilities than I care to think about. I lost the one love of my life 32 years to a tragic accident. He went to work one night, and never came home. Left me with 2 little girls, ages 71/2 and 8 months at the time. It was all downhill after that.

So, yeah this is just a small portion of the story. I could write a book I suppose. Things trigger me very easily. Sights, sounds smells and certain songs.

I also just lost my biological father to COVID in October of 2021 but he was lost in his mind a few years ago. All I have left is my 2 beautiful girls and the blessings of grandchildren and two great grandchildren. And my mother-in-law. Now I have all of you… my friends here at 7 cups. A place where I feel safe and can be open and honest and feel loved 🥰. Thank you for letting me able to share.