Being Fired at my First Job & University Life (Big Ball of Mess)

Hello, first time poster. I've heard about this site before, from an old therapist.

I got fired from my only job, but I decided to resign instead, when I was 18, back in 2016 (So, I'm 25 now), and it's still weighing heavily on my mind. I went through a phase of a year just being traumatized over the loss of the all my connections from work, my loss of income, and that I believed that I was a failure. I told my family about me being fired, and they weren't really supportive towards me at all. They suggested I enter university upon the persuasion that I'd receive money while in University from government for being in full-time studies. I told them i wanted to go to upgrading highschool, since my highschool marks weren't the best, and I thought I could see friends, and hopefully be in a more positive situation overall, but they insisted because "I could be ahead of my friends academically" as they put it. I agreed because I didn't want to lose money that I would receive, but wasn't totally in it, so I ended up with a horrible abysmal transcript, and I'm still here.

I didn't look for work the first year and half because of the rigors of university, and the general stress I felt regarding taking classes, and balancing the family troubles and lack of emotional support they gave me. But, I applied at some places, and didn't get any phone calls.

I kept applying at places, even while depressed and anxious, and was too anxious to sought counseling support from the university, even though I sought it previously while still in highschool. I wasn't medicated until 2020.

I never got any phone calls back and never really tried to fix it because of my dire situation until recently this year. I have been medicated, I'm going through counseling and therapy, and my family is seeking family therapy for their issues regarding it all.

Yet, I still feel traumatized by my old manager's face, personality and overall demeanor, and every time I hand a resume to a new hiring manager, or even when I get interviews (rarely) I still feel very anxious and can imagine his face upon the new hiring managers and that I believe I'll just end up being dumb, and being fired again.

I don't know how to get over this, and address this to the point where I feel positive and confident that I can impress another employer to hire me so I can make a steady income again. All my income is from disability, stocks, government payments as mentioned above, and federal payments that the government enacted to help Canadians.

I just want to be happy again, and being able to work meaningfully, and make a steady income again, but I feel unsupported at home (parents), and I just always have a tendency to negatively spiral back due to lack of stable friendships where they're supportive.

Thank you for reading.