...sigh...

Today's been really bad for me.

I tell certain people over and over about what happened that day but some only see the facts instead of the truth and dramatic change to a person. I know what happened because I was there. I just have a hard time expressing it verbally to people. People think that since there was no evidence to be found in the rape kit that it never happened. Or that since I had this good odd feeling that I've never had before nor ever wanted makes it consented. People don't know how hurtful that is to a rape victim they would say that since you enjoyed it its not rape. I never chose to have any intercourse with the person who did this to me! I couldn't run away because he put my walker all to the other side of his room. How would I even walk over there to get it without falling? Even as if I fought instead of freezing...how would I escape? How would I even kick him off of me when I just started physical therapy? I would be overpowered by him and he knew it!

...so is it wrong that I want to shut down and never come out?