it's all connected

It was hinted to me, recently, that adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse have had 'more than enough time' to 'get over it'.

I'm unsure as to how I could possibly 'get over it', when 'it' has been one of the key ingredients to my never-freakin-ending state of depression.

At 7 years old, I was raped by a close relative. It happened once, but one time was enough to damage me forever. It shaped me into a contradictory ball of anxiety, an emotion-bomb on the highest possible setting, with the obsessive desire to be loved, while simultaneously fearing everything.

I was told then to move on, so I did, to them. I played my part so well, the happy little girl, that they all assumed I'd made it up. The rest of my life, I was told it didn't happen.

But. I remember. So. Much.

The anxiety, depression, fibro, anorexia, insomnia, shyness, feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt... they are all connected... intertwined with my soul; I don't know how to cut out those pieces without killing the rest of me.