if I told you my story ,you would not beleive me so here is just a little
I was sexually assaulted ay 16 years old by three men ,and as a lotof peopleI blamed my self for many years,not being able to tell any one is the worse feelings ,I hid the whole thing even to the pointoftelling lies about how i got cut so bad to the hospital ,nowI worry that maybeI should have reported it because i think what if they had done it to someone else after me ,wouldI be to blame. I know how it feels and I now how to cope ,I hope I can help
It's never to late to tell about what happened to you. I commend you for being so brave and telling us what happened to you.
@animalSong47 Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It does give me strength to maybe open up myself to sharing. I'm so sorry what you went through and I am so glad to hear that you are coping more positively now. I think it's important to remember that we are survivors and that all along we've been coping with this tradgedy we have endured. For me, it's a matter of accepting myself exactly as I am, knowing that I am not to blame, and seeking help to find more positive coping skills. I look forward to continuing the journey with you my friend. Sincerely, FaithfulPerson
As far as telling someone goes, we do the best we can with what we have. I was unable to tell anyone after I was raped at 18 years of age. I thought I told my best friend that night and we went to the cafeteria in the morning. My perpertrator was there and I felt so scared. She was with me the whole time. Years later, we talked about it and she told me I never said a word to her. I realize now that it was my mind doing the best it could to cope with the trauma. I would not be so hard on myself for not telling, animalSong. You did the best with what you had at the time. All we can do now is tell our stories and hope that the next victim become a survivor like ourselves and do what we can to speak out against rape, so that more people become aware and work toward ending the stigma and work toward the cause.
i hope by telling some of my story i would make it easy for others who want to talk about what has happed to them
exactly, animalSong! please keep sharing your story with us and continue to fight the sometimes difficult battle! You have given me strength to share my story and I am sure you shall give many others strength as well. Much love, FaithfulPerson
I completely agree faithful. I've come to realize in my journey, it does me no good to look back and think what if. That was a huge struggle for me. Not reporting it for 20 years, after I saw his name in the paper for being arrested for domestic violence, for a long time I blamed myself for that. If I had said something, maybe xyz wouldn't have happened. That coupled with the guilt I had because at the time, I didn't say no, or try and fight back, brought me way done. If I said I didn't still struggle sometimes with that, I'd be lying. Those days, I try to be extra gentle and patient with myself and just accept that's how I'm feeling right now. That's a really hard thing to do. Hugs and prayers for anyone having to go through this, because it isn't fair. Xoxo
so true redlotus! I struggle with blaming myself as well. If I had only done this or only done that... sometimes my thinking changes everyday but today these are my thoughts. My perpertrator was the one who chose to do what he did. I can't change that. He has to live with his actions. I am trying to do the best I can with what I have today. It's not always easy and I can sometimes get caught up in the "what if"s. However, I do know that I am doing what I can today and that has got to be enough for now.
Ireally blamed my self becauseI opened and door to someone iI trusted and he let the othesr in side, it hard to deal with but it really is not us to blame it the men who think no means yes and they can force ,or take what they want ,I wasnot strong butI hope now I am
You are a strong person!!! Being able to be open about this, and have you're voice be heard makes you a strong person. Every day you keep moving and keep fighting back makes you stronger! I have faith that you can get through this. It isn't easy, but it's worth it to keep moving forward.
It was definitely not your fault, animalSong. I'm so sorry that someone you trusted took advantage of that trust. You are not alone and you can get through this. You are strong because you've come this far! Don't give up and keep on keeping on. Yes, those who rape chose to rape. We didn't ask for it. And the only thing we can do now is to work on ourselves and try to help others. They will reap their own consequences! I have learned to let go of my hate for my perpertrator even though I still do not agree with what he did. I hope that he is getting the help that he needs. And if he did do something to someone else, all I can do at this point is hope that that person finds their own recovery journey and join us in loving ourselves and others.
redlotus, I must say that it must be extremely difficult to face your perpertrator after such a horrible event, even if its through the newspaper. I never knew my perpertrator and saw him only one time after the event. I went through years wondering what if I had reported it. What if he does it to someone else. I also felt guilt and shame for not reporting because I thought that if I had maybe I could have stopped him from doing it to someone else. I also thought that if I had fought harder maybe i could have stopped him from what he was doing to me. However, the fact remains that I did the best I could with what I had at the time. I was unable to report at the time because I was merely trying to survive what happened. And if he did choose to rape again, that is not my fault. He and only he can choose his own behavior and reap the consequences. My hope is that he is getting the help he needs and I have faith that he shall reap his own consequences. That may not seem to be enough because I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through what I have in trying to deal with the many emotions of being raped. However, I have to have some sort of faith that there is a higher power involved and that justice is being served in regards to my case. As far as what if I had fought harder? All I can say is that I did the best I could with what I had at the time. In a way, this experience has taught me many things about myself and I wouldn't change it for the world. That may sound odd, but if I can help just one more person who has been through something similar, then for me it has not been in vain. Thank you 7 Cups for creating a safe place where we can share our stories. This is not easy by any means. For all who are reading this and struggling, I also send out positive thoughts your way. We can get through this together. Please do not give up hope. Even if you are feeling hopeless, you are not alone. This is not an easy journey to take. However, one step at a time, we can do it together. Thanks for listening to me today. Sincerely, FaithfulPerson
@redlotus This is a difficult thing to manage... thinking about how we responded to the rape and/or sexual assault. I understand how you might look back upon these things and think why didn't I do this or that? would things have turned out differently? The truth is,that we are conditioned to react in a certain manner and you did the best you could with what you had at the time. Please be gentle with yourself in that regard. You did the best you could with what you had and are doing the best you can today! I see that in you and I am reminded that we must must must take good care of ourselves during this journey. I am so glad to hear that you are caring for yourself during these times and others. You are a blessing to me and others as well. Please continue to discuss your journey with us as you see fit. Please know that I am here and am sending positive healing thoughts your way. Sincerely, FaithfulPerson
I was blackmailed by a brony. Then Attacked at a convention by the same man. I can't believe I never saw the signs.
hey love. i am so so proud of you for just continuing each day after this unfortunate event in your life. may i say that you are so strong. also, thank you for sharing this with us. it takes a lot, i know for a fact. first off i want to address how you say if i told you my story you would not believe it.. you as a person owenothingto anybody. you do not need to validate yourselves to anybody about anything because your voice, your story whatever it may be, and you as a person are already valid. and thus, if you thoroughly shared your story and someone did not believe it, it would not be on you. unfortunately, we live in a society that is victim shaming and blaming and it puts so much on each survivor of whatever hardship it may be to come out and speak about their experience and injustice. do not hold yourself accountable for people's ignorance, i know it's terribly difficult, but also do not let the fact that they blame you get to you. nothing ever was your fault. you were the target here my love and whether you reported this or not, what causes violence in general, is the one perpetrating the act, the one committing it. you are so strong, so loved, and so worth and valuable of everything good in life and i am so glad you continue to be here. feel free to message me anytime, okay?
hugs, lindsay
hello lindmay , i would love to talk with you ,i just wanted to explaine the reason for the title was that at 7 years old a guy tryed to murder me and at court that is what he said "I just wanted to kill a child " that has been in my head for so long now .still if I help someone by telling my story than thats just what I will do . i will never give in my fightfor life and the fight for others , please take care
animalSong, I am so sorry you went through that. To be 7 years old and have somone try to murder you must be extremely difficult to deal with! And then, to have him say in court, "I wanted to kill a child"? Wow. I am at loss for words. Please know that you have been heard and that you are loved. I hope that you are in a safe place today and can share what you've been through with others. What kind of supports do you have in your life other than 7 Cups if I may ask?
i'm so sorry to hear again my love. this was a really tough part of your life clearly but you are so strong. it's amazing. :)
i have no one ,but it is ok that ismaybe why i like this site because it feels like family
yes, animalSong. It is like family for me too here. I am so glad that you shared your story with us. Like I said, it gave me the courage to come forward. Let's stick together, shall we? :D
Animal.....I'm sorry you're having a rough time this week. I can't begin to imagine what you went through. Nobody deserves that. It took a lot of courage to put that into words and sharing something so personal with everyone else. It takes a really strong person to do that. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Lean on us....your family. We're here for you. If you need anything send me a message. I'm more than happy to support if you want. Take care. Xoxo
thank you every body who left me messages and your kind words it so nice to know I'm not alone ,i have not been well or i would havereplayed you all but i have not been well ,feeling a lot better now ,,animal song is strong again !.
Glad to hear it animalSong!!! ❤️
How have you been doing lately, animalSong?
up and down ,had a infechion but it seams to be better now,was think of writing all that has happend to me ,if it would help others i think i could do it , but i dont want anyone feeling sorry for me, so im not sure people are so kind on here
have you tried talking one on one with a listener, animalSong? It sounds like you may have had a bad experience with people not being supportive on 7 Cups and that breaks my heart to hear that. Please know that not all of us are unkind nor unsympathetic to your situation. I think there is a difference between pity and sympathy. I hope you have found people in your life who are sympathetic to your situation. Please know that you are more than welcome to share whatever you'd like to here or one on one. I think it's important to continue on your journey of healing and recovery! Have you reached out to anyone in the healing profession outside of 7 Cups? Maybe a sexual assault survivor councelor or a support group for survivors offline?
I think you need to do what is right for you. If reaching out and writing your story will help you in anyway...I say go for it. You know you best. I can certainly empathize with you, and what you're going through. It took alot for me to reach out as well, I didn't want pity, and I didn't want to feel like a burden. I'm sorry if people here aren't being as supportive, that must be really frustrating. You're a strong person. I'm here if you need anything. Xoxo