advice for coping with trauma-related flashbacks?
I feel like when I have flashbacks I can’t stay grounded. I never know what day it is or what time and I get tactile and olfactory hallucinations relating to my trauma. Does anyone else experience this? It’s really hard for me to function as an adult when any time I’m confronted with my (admittedly common) triggers I have to go lie down in a dark room and try to find a way to get myself to sleep because I can’t handle being awake when I remember it. It’s like 90% of the time I forget anything ever happened to me and the other 10% I’m painfully aware of it because it feels like it’s still happening. If anyone else experiences anything similar, is there anything that works for you to keep you grounded in the present? I hate that feeling like I’m drifting off and I don’t know what year it is. I have responsibilities I can’t just put on hold because my body wants me to play dead. But years later, I still don’t know how to cope with the flashbacks. I’ve tried having something with me that smells strong but it usually ends up making me sick. Sometimes it’s not enough just to have my comfort object with me, either. I’ve tried engaging my body with exercise but I honestly just end up injuring myself more often than not. There’s got to be more I can do than lying down and giving into it for a few days until I forget about it again, right?
@sillieststardrop
Yes, I completely understand what you mean. (SKIP down to the 3rd paragraph to the end for strategies for grounding both short-term and long-term. Quick summary of grounding techniques: press on body where you feel tension, breathe deeply, and whisper affirmations that are deeply grounded in the present)
Your body has kept the score of what happened to you and it sounds like each time you are immersed in traumatic memories, your body has very physical responses. Trauma, by definition, is unbearable and intolerable. I have experienced similar severe, traumatic flashbacks, and it really does take tremendous amounts of energy to keep functioning as an adult while carrying those memories of terror, and the shame of utter weakness and vulnerability.
I am glad that you have found at least one way to deal with your emotions, even if it is forcing yourself to sleep in order to get rid of the memories (which as you have stated, is painful and unsustainable). It sounds like your traumatic flashbacks cause you to dissociate from your current reality and relive the traumatic memories. I am very sorry you have to go through this, it really isn’t fair.
I want you to understand that there is nothing wrong with you, but the trauma has fundamentally changed parts of your brain pathways. These changes explain why traumatized individuals become hyper-vigilant to threats at the expense of naturally and spontaneously engaging in their day-to-day lives. To address it and keep yourself grounded more often, it will be important to:
- Rebuild new neural pathways through processing traumatic memories,
- Have new experiences that contradict what happened in the trauma, and
- Comfort your body through it all.
I have personally found that I need to do the steps in reverse order: Step 3, Step 2, and then Step 1.
Step 3: Comfort your body
During the traumatic flashback itself, I find that I need to calm my bodily reactions and my fight-or-flight response that goes off. I try to first identify what parts of my body are feeling pained and then apply pressure against them as I take deep breaths. Learning to observe and tolerate physical reactions to feelings is a prerequisite to any further thought and trauma exploration. I personally find that applying pressure with my hands against my lower neck and chest region helps me calm down a little bit. Once I can be calm enough to voice my own thoughts, I move on to step 2.
Step 2: Have new experiences that contradict what happened in the trauma
Although Step 2 is a more long-term step, I find that a similar calming effect can be achieved if I voice or write down affirmations that contradict how the trauma flashbacks are making me feel and acknowledge that the flashbacks/hallucinations are not real. I say “This isn’t real”, “You’re okay”, “I’m okay”, “I am strong”, or “I am safe”— any phrase that can help me break free from the mental aspect of it. Becoming aware of what traumatic thoughts trigger physical sensations and hallucinations can help you formulate what thoughts to repeat to yourself to calm down.
In a long-term sense, building positive relationships with others has helped me to be more open and kind to myself. Calming myself just enough to have the courage to open up— and then seeing and experiencing things that directly contradict my trauma has been very helpful in a long-term sense. This helps to rebuild neural pathways, as mentioned in step 1.
Step 1: Rebuild new neural pathways through processing traumatic memories
I only recommend this step once you can successfully use steps 3 and 2 to calm your flashbacks without needing any more than 12 hours. In Step 3, you should process and put the trauma into words so that you can recognize what exactly it is that is causing these physical responses. (No Need to do this if you already know what it is. Just focus on steps 3 and 2).
Even as I have completed all three steps, I still get triggered to this day and find myself pressing on my chest, breathing deeply, and whispering affirmations. I don't often vocalize the trauma once I'm already aware of it- no need to trigger the flashbacks. Trauma is something that isn’t easily healed, but I wanted to share what works for me and what gave me further insight into myself. I wish you good luck and I recommend you the book “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and the Body in the Healing of Trauma”, by Bessel Van Der Kolk.
Stay strong! You can do it.
