Unsavory rp partner *****Trigger warning******

There was this one person who used to roleplay with me when I 12/13, they were 17/18 when all of this happened.We both liked Cthulhu mythos, so it naturally clicked, I was happy to find someone who liked it since I could barely find someone who liked it irl, or in the same way I did.

Before this I was introduced to yaoi, it was my first encounter with anything resembling lgbt content, which was great, but the yaoi fandom at least used to have it's own problems. One main problem being the major amount of sexualized rape and rape jokes (do you see where I'm going with this?), This behavior made it harder to detect what my roleplay partner did to me.

They roleplay rape with me, mostly talked about raping different cthulhu characters. I was oblivious to how bad it was for a long time, like up till I was 17 (aka now), but I've realized how it was sexual abuse. I can distance myself from the event most of the time, but sometimes (like today) the grossness of the situation crops back up into my mind.

edited by dancingRainbow on 04/05/17 Added a trigger warning as this is being moved to Traumatic Experiences community - Please see community guidelines on posting