Signs of Grooming
This has been requested a lot so hopefully this helps someone ♡ If you feel like you/someone you know might be in this situation, at any age, dont be shy from messaging me. (I was groomed at 18 by a 29 year old.)
- Says things like 'Everyone does it', 'You are so childish', 'You are so vanilla' etc. when they request something sexual but you dont wanna do it.
- Barely knows you but showers you with affection at first, yet shortly after it seems like they only like you when you are being sexual.
- ESPECIALLY if you dont have a stable career, yes adults also count, they promise you stability and other favours for no reason. Then when you dont wanna do something sexual, they will say you used them even if you didnt do anything.
- They wont let you go, if you try to leave they will promise to change or never do it again just to lure you back in.
- They will threaten you, and yes threatening to kill themselves also count.
- When you mention how you think your relationship is wrong they will call you delusional or that you are easy to manipulate by other people.
- When you try to leave they will blame your close ones, in fact they will talk sh*t about them constantly for no reason so you become isolated, aka an easy prey.
- Lets say you did their request and told them this was it, they will keep on requesting and even call you weird saying 'you did it once, why not again?' Or will compare different acts and call you weird for doing one thing and refusing the other.
- They will mock your boundaries. For example 'You do this but wont do this, whats your problem?'
- They will be persistent about certain things. They will keep on saying you can 'try' some things even if you stated you didnt ever want to.
- They will almost brag about the age difference, saying people are 'old and jealous' for judging them. Please DONT confuse this with 'they are jealous of our bond'. Pay attention to what they say.
- Remember how they showered you with love, care or gifts? They will take that all back when you decide to leave. They will insult your every insecurity. But dont let them discourage you, remember they are crying cause someone half their age left them which is pathetic. (If you are a kid/teen). And if you are an adult, they cant deal with the fact that you are INDEED hard to manipulate. Show them who is the real adult here.
- When you mention your trauma they will say you are overreacting, you just cant forget, you wanna stir up some drama.
- They will try their best to keep this a secret. They may act like they are okay with being known at first, but soon they will talk about escaping together cause 'No one will understand'.
- Last but not least, its almost always trusted ones. Just cause you trusted them, were your friend, a family member, doesnt make whatever they did disappear.
- If they have a history of dating people way too younger than them, thats a red flag.
- They are EXTREMELY insecure. Thats why they dont date adults in the first place. So dont be surprised if they are really jealous or even accuse you of cheating.
# If you have any other signs in mind please write in the comments ♡ You can also share your story and talk with other survivors! Unfortunately I cant accept requests because of many harassers :( Please tag me in the comments for me to message you, sometimes i may not get requests ♡#
@AmbrosialElysian
Hi! This is insightful content, thank you for putting it up and supporting others!
However, I have noticed that there's been multiple posting of the same content in here which isn't allowed. I have deleted the duplicate ones (checked for their duplicate nature using a tool). The ones retained include the current one and this.
You can check the forum guidelines here and an expanded guideline post about multiple posting here. If you'd like to reach out to a greater number of users through these posts, consider messaging a Community Mentor from here. Thank you. ❤️
@AmbrosialElysian hi again! please don't repost the same content for reasons stated above. If you want to reach out to community-wide, consider nominating the thread for a notification/alert.
Thank you so much for making this post,
i was groomed online and sexually assaulted (multiple times)
it was so hard to leave because of the constant threats and guilt tripping. People need to learn more about the signs and be aware
@AmbrosialElysian
This post is so important, thank you for making it.
Specifically in children and younger teens, it's important to note signs that might not be related to a romantic relationship or something like that.
- The child in question suddenly starts acting drastically different
- Child pushes more for specific types of privacy (especially if they're under 8, please keep an eye on them but don't invade their privacy too much cause that can lead to trust issues and the like)
- Notice a family member/family friend starting to touch or be nearer to your kiddo more and more often overtime? Massive red flag. Please be careful, people grooming small children tend to be subtle and gradual, or else entirely secretive about it, and carelessness can have horrible outcomes with this.
- Child refuses physical contact, specifically affection, when they used to enjoy/not mind it. Typically a major red blinking sign pointing straight at sexual abuse and/or sexual grooming.
sorry i was going to write more but this is getting triggering. i'll try to write more later. please please feel free to add more. i'm only speaking from my experience <3
