Requesting coping methods or a listening ear
(Warning for talks about SA and coping mechanisms ex. ***)
Hi all,
I am just hoping for some friendly advice or someone to talk to. It has been a rough few weeks, my roommate moved out which gave me my own space at college for once and with that, my ability to stay in bed late and *** a lot. I know that hyper sexuality can be an effect of sexual assault, but for me it's gotten really out of hand but I don't know how to solve the problem. I have 3-5 different guys I'll be ***/talking to at one time (I know it sounds bad). I'll be in bed until around 3 or 4pm often because I don't have class until 4pm on MWF so I feel no rush to get up out of bed, which then leads to the *** obsession. Plus getting up late means not eating much all day which leads me to feel drowsy, have negative thinking, spirals, etc.
I want to find a better way to cope with my assault than ***. But I need something that keeps my brain quiet. When I'm not online with someone or attempting to find someone who's available, my brain is consumed with thoughts about my assault, going through the "was I guilty? was it consent?" questions when I know that being under influence of alcohol means you can't consent at all. I will never know the true and full answer, only that my instinct 2 weeks after it happened was that I regretted it and felt wrong in my body.
If anyone has recommendations of healthy coping methods I could try, or someone to talk to, I would appreciate it a lot. Most of the time it's just nice to feel like you're not alone. <3
Grace
@kimdnessngrace first I am so so sorry for what happened to you ❤️
As a survivor of early childhood sexual abuse, I think it is understandable and overse*uality happened to me too. In time you will find the right person and with him/her ways to enjoy your se*uality in more fulfilling ways. But least for me (I'm 38 now), it sometimes still feels more safe finding other ways to pleasing myself or through electronic devices (texting, watching videos etc.).
Hyperse*uality might root in only the simple reason that in reality se*ting is not enough to satisfy you. You need a fulfilling relationship on top of it, a person who will understand and support you and be patient with what you have gone through. Such a person is hard to find but believe me it is possible. Just not through se*ting I guesd. You need to go out there and that might require a lot of courage, which you will collect in time.
I can understand how it can affect your normal everyday life when it keeps you up at night. I hope it gets easier on you in time and find a person you can open up to ❤️
