Learning to live instead of survive

I spent moat of my life afraid of everything. I have had severe anxiety and depression that turned into mild ptsd after my dad molested me, i was raped twice, used for 3 years as a "pet" to a very abusive man, and molested at work on several different occasions all by the time i was 20. My mom suffered from depression so badly that she could barely take care of herself, none the less me, and by the time i was 16 i had turned to narcotics and cocaine to ease some of the pain that was my life. I am now 6 months clean from everything exccept weed (without it i cant sleep or eat and its better than being given more drugs) and am i. A healthy relationship for the first time in my life! though i still have bad days i am finally starting to realize that life is something to be enjoyed, not just tolerated.