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Is it a rape?

AnotherOverthinker October 20th, 2015

Hello guys,

My thread is more about a conversation on the idea of "rape" rather than an actual experience..

My questioning on the topic started when I heard a group of people (not necessarily only men) discussing about a story of rape they had heard. In the story the girl had been raped by her boyfriends, and here comes the trouble.

Most of the people seem to laugh at the idea , of a girl been raped by her partner, since the fact that sexual intercourse between these people is constant , it is not considered a rape rather than a sexual intercourse where the girl "did not have that much fun".

This finds me opposite since the idea of rape in my head is the one of non- desirable intercourse, regardless of the sex or the relationship of the people involved.

However, I am more than willing to listen to your ideas! :)

7
keepsmiling3 October 20th, 2015

Personally I feel that if there is no consent from both parties, then it is rape.

Marital rape- I believe it is called. Where one is raped by a partner (married or not)

I just don't think it is picked up as much as it should be purely because they are in a relationship with each other

Just my thoughts on it!

Keep Smiling <3

SilverWaterfall October 20th, 2015

Rape is when two people have sex, and at least one person didn't consent. If the person didn't consent, then it would be rape.

LouLychee October 21st, 2015

Sex without consent IS ALWAYS rape.

The element in the definition of rape is CONSENT.
Also, the consent can be withdrawn at any time.

Most importantly- not giving consent does not always mean saying the actual word NO. Some people respond to sexual assault in different ways. They might resist physically but not saying the word 'no' doesn't mean it wasn't rape. Or they might stop resisting after some time - it is still rape. Saying NO just once , is more than enough. Sometimes the person might be too scared to object but not giving their consent is always obvious.

It does not matter whether the person is victim's spouse, best friend, relative, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend. IF it was noncosensual - IT WAS rape.

Dillion October 25th, 2015

Please correct me if I am wrong or misleading, but from my personal experiences in the past with dealing with police, ect... Rape is anytime someone says No, or doesn't even say yes, it can be considered rape, or a lesser charge like sexual assault. If the person is under 18 years old in the US, and they have sex with someone over 18, they may be charged with statutory rape (even if consentsual)

OneDayillSmile44 October 25th, 2015

I remember a year ago, my teachers asked me to join the debate team. One of our arguments were on rape, There was a boy about my age and he kept making crude comments such as "girls deserve it" or "they ask for it." every time he said that he would look straight at my eyes. "Well we have urges and they aren't always fulfilled, we go out one night and there's a women with a skirt barely covering her and a top showing too much so your telling me she wasn't asking for it" His last comment finally made me snap

"if you don't walk around with a helmet on or shield does it give me a right to bash you skull. If you don't walk with a fire extinguisher, does it mean I have permission to skin you alive?"

Let's just say till today he still won't look at me in the eye.

AnotherOverthinker OP October 30th, 2015

I totally agree with you guys! All your posts were very interesting.

Its nice to read your views on the topic! Hope you are all doing great!

JayBumble November 2nd, 2015

I think some people find it hard to believe that rape can happen within a relationship simply because they would never dream of doing that themselves. They love their partner and they both want sex with each other right?

But sometimes relationships are abusive, and marital rape can be just as violent and severe as any other rape. Just the same as one partner can hit or hurt another, they can also rape. It's just not spoken about as much. It is also a lot easier to manipulate and control a victim if you get into a personal relationship with them.