I could have stooped a predator.
I just found out that the grown man whom i was dating as a teenager has been convicted of raping another teenage girl. It was years ago when we were together and i know now that what conspired was him grooming me. But since he never hurt me or forced me to do anything, back then i thought as long as i aggreed to everything that happened it was okay.. Yet now that i know that he has hurt somoene else and that i was clearly apart of a pattern i just cant turn my brain off to thinking that if i had spoken up at the time then the girls that got hurt after me wouldn't have gotten hurt. I know it isn't fair to put the responsibility of his actions on myself but im really struggling with the fact that i could have done something to help the girls after me.
@Bossy1
I am so sorry you went through that experience. I know that it must really hurt you to hear all of those things about that person.
Don't blame yourself, you were young too and you were trusting him too. You are not the monster here, he is.
Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.
I know im hearing those words but i cant wrap my mind around it. I was assaulted a year later by someone else so i know exactly how the girl that was raped feels. I just really thought that he wasnt the type of person to do that to anyone let slone a teenage girl. I know that there are monsters in the world. And i know that you can be blinded by those around you without seeing their true colors but my brain just isnt grasping it..
@Bossy1
I understand a bit of how you feel, I was with two older people (I hate saying groomed, they were very old) and they still participate in social circles I hate to see them, because I know I wasn’t the only one and there probably will be more. I reported one of them but it wasn’t taken seriously. I feel so angry and upset with myself for not stopping it, and letting my family down.
Just sharing because it’s sort of similar of how you feel, maybe it will offer some consolation that you were not alone in that position. I am sorry, guilt is terrible to carry. I hope you are able to find some peace 🤍 sending you lots of best wishes.
Thank you so much. It does feel better not being alone.