Hating the sexual aspect of me
Well folks, I guess one thing bothering me right now is the fact that I have sexual feelings and I normally equate that to "bad" when it involves me. Went through some crap when I was young which went on for a while but now I am incapable of feeling ok with the fact that I have sexual feelings, which are supposedly natural for a guy of my age.
Anyone else have this or were they able to get past feeling disgusting? I'd appreciate any feedback. It's been a rough day...
I think a really good start is recognizing it and talking about it - the more you're able to open up and dig into your feelings, even figuring out if there are times that you feel more or less upset about it, if there are memories that trigger these feelings, etc., the more you'll be able to work through those feelings and move forwards.
@ascendingHelix yes I have this also. :( :( For me also I was partially aroused during my assault and have feelings of disgust/shame around that. I am trying to talk to a professional soon. There's also sexual assault hotlines.
Sorry if this is weird, but masturbation/self-love helped me a little, just to work on reclaiming what sexuality means to me and how I want it to feel empowering for me instead of have a feeling of being dominated. I also wrote blog posts about my assault and my feelings about my preferences and tried sharing with some close friends to feel validated about my choices.