Different Ideas of What's Okay After Trauma

It can be hard to know if the behavior of the people around you is okay, especially if you have a history of abuse or neglect, though things can be confusing even without that. I've written this short guide on how to tell if you are being treated well, because not everyone can tell.

Do you have adequate physical resources?

This is a very basic list of what you should have easy access to:

- Clean clothing (Clean clothes every 2-3 days)

- A place to sleep undisturbed 8 hours a night that is safe and warm

- Enough clean water to drink (about half a gallon a day)

- 2-3 meals a day that leave you feeling energized and full

- A private place to use the bathroom and clean yourself once or twice a day

Here are some things that are never okay and are not normal:

- Having a part of your life that always or often makes you feel unsafe that you feel is unavoidable or something you should ignore

- Feeling that there is something unavoidable holding you back from being happy and doing what you want to do.

- Not being allowed outside

- Being restrained for any notable amount of time

- Being told that your sexuality/gender/religion/ideas/choices are wrong and you should act "normal"

- Anyone crossing a boundary, for example: Invasion of personal space,

unwanted touching, or any physical contact that makes you feel uncomfortable.

- Physical or emotional harm, for example: Being told you are worthless or unwanted, or being physically punished.

Watch out for yourselves <3 If something feels wrong, reach out for support.