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You are not the problem. It's your family

CatListener May 24th, 2023

Ever wondered if you were crazy or mentally ill? Ever wondered if you were bipolar or borderline? You don't understand why you can't concentrate, make friends and be productive. It's your FAMILY.

Narcissistic family systems

Patriarch/matriarch: The main abuser

Enabler: The parent that knows everything and doesn't care. For example, emotionally absent parents. Mothers who cover child sexual abuse and incest.

Scapegoat: Child targeted as the main issue. Usually shows symptoms of suicide, and eating disorders. The child usually is smart and empathetic.

Golden child: Targeted to compete against the scapegoat. Gets all the ''love and praise''. The child is the best at maths and sports. Perfectionist, addicted to work, and weak boundaries. Usually the youngest sibling.

Outside enablers: Neighbours, therapists, teachers, and other people who encourage and justify the abusive parent's behavior and punish the child's emotions.

Results in adulthood

Financial stress and poverty even when the family's origin is well off

Abusive relationships and issues making friends

Resorting to addictions as coping mechanisms

Issues having sex and relating to the opposite or same sex. Lots of shame





2
toughTiger6481 May 25th, 2023

@CatListener

Although i see your point there is never... a one size fits all .....

When i look around i see examples of people ..... in a family like that ................breaking free and succeeding far more then said family. only person without substance abuse or other issues.

What is the difference between one sibling who follows exact pattern in your post and another sibling who does not ........ IMO personal choice.

We all have Family issues IMO but i feel how people react or overcome shows it can be done you are NOT destined for X,Y,Z because a family dynamic.


quietDay3677 June 13th, 2023

Thank you for this. Very clear.