Why is This Happening Now?
Growing up, I suffered a lot of emotional abuse from my mother. I grew up hearing things like, "You're lazy, you will never amount to anything, you don't try hard enough, you're selfish", and the like.
I spent years in therapy dealing with this. I reached a point where it had less effect on me, other than little self-esteem.
Depression has always been a part of my life. But for years now, mom issues haven't been a problem.
A month ago, the store I worked for closed down, leaving me unemployed. I'm applying to lots of jobs, but am finding rejection, and financial problems. That fuels Depression, which fuels self-doubt, which fuels Depression (hamster wheel). I tend to not do much when I get like this.
Ive had that little voice in my head telling me those old messages. But recently the little voice is my mother's voice. Suddenly I feel like the wounded 10 year old again.
I thought I had moved past this. Will it ever end? I wish I could keep the past in the past.
It doesn't help that my therapist is away for a couple weeks.
@PapaJeff59 im sorry to hear that. all of it. i cant really relate to it, so i dont think any advice i have would be of any value, but im always here if you want to talk.
@PapaJeff59
Hello, nice to meet you. I am so sorry that your mother has damaged your self-confidence and basically
destroyed your self-confidence. Now, jobs are just beginning to open back up after Covid, but I believe you will soon find a good job. Healing is a process that takes time to get there. Until you resolve those inner hurts you will probably still experience flashbacks and triggers. I to experience these same emotions and we try hard to support one another in feeling validated and to assure you that you did not deserve what happened to you. You are more that enough.
I can see strength in your post and a willingness to strive to heal. So hang in there, we are rooting for you😊❤️
@PapaJeff59
I had similar items growing up and when feeling like that and hearing those things in your head it is hard to do a job search .... and you are right finance/ and rejection and so one seem to be a vicious circle.
When i am in the job search i need to be in the right frame of mind or what happens is i apply for items that are not a good fit but maybe i felt they sounded like a slam dunk but in reality was not considered because they figured i would leave as it was below my skill level. That made me even worse because i was convinced this was something i can do.... the frustration is awful.
if you can clear your mind apply with optimism and hope and apply to places even if a different industry/ type job then you are used to .....
it not only helps your outlook but when you find a new path and grow in that more doors open.
