Ignoring the problem and Humor to Cope
I’ve been through a bit of trauma in my life and my strategy has always been “If I do not think about it, it is not real.” Then I will proceed to make an obnoxious amount jokes about whatever happened. Today my boyfriend and his dog got hit by a car. He’s alive but he’s been injured pretty badly. I feel fine, but that’s only because I’ve been actively avoiding thinking about it. Anytime I do I just make jokes about it. My friends keep asking if I’m okay because I keep on doing it. Despite feeling fine it is 4:30 am, and I have done nothing productive today, nor slept. Does anyone have any effective tips on how to deal with this? Or at least can relate?
I can relate
@lavenderOcean1474
Hi ocean,, I can relate, I have used avoidance and humor as well.
If you would like to talk I'm a new listener and would love to talk with you.
I can totally relate. I went rough a few crazy traumatic things recently dealing with my organs and my partner, long story, but I tend to poke fun at it all so no one pities me. Or so that I don’t pity myself. But when I’m alone, I cry at totally random things. Literally my body reminding me to fully experience the trauma so it doesn’t come out in the future, and affect more than just me, but my other relationships. I’m in a pretty bad place emotionally, but mentally I feel kind of stable during this rough period, and I hung the key is to seriously talk it out. To friends or on a forum like this. By you getting on here and sharing with people, you’re taking a huge step in the right direction. Try to give yourself a break but do open up to people. They will take you more seriously, and your self respect will go up. Good luck! Rooting for you,
Sometimes it helps to not think about things you cannot directly control. I seem to have the opposite problem most times; I ruminate about my trauma again and again even though it’s in the past. It’s important to have discernment and wisdom to know what you can and can’t control so you know what is an isn’t an appropriate response and know your options.
I understand, I was in denial for decades about my trauma...I used the fake smile and denial to cope until something horribly traumatic happened and I fell apart to say the least. Anyway I started professional therapy and I'm a little better. But I wish I'd started going to therapy in the 80s I would be alot better off now. So I guess reaching out for help is what works from what I experienced. I hope this is useful for you in some small way. So sorry for what's happened to you and your partner that's pretty traumatic stuff. I'll pray for you and him tonight 💜 ABB
I sure can relate. Anytime I continuously make jokes, you can be pretty sure I’m hurting. But is that really so bad ? I think we become overly alert which is hard to relax from. The humor helps us cope. Do you ever talk about the stressors in your life? Or can you feel your pain being pushed back ? Your fear? That would have been a reminder to me about how close loss can come to ripping apart my life. Maybe it will be easier and like baby steps to first talk to the dog. Tell him how happy you are that he is safe and still a part of your life. It may make it easier to share your fears with your bf afterwards. In my case I would probably tell that to my bf first. The dog would hurt more.