@hereigoagain Hi thanks for your post, which I have just stumbled across and Im sorry you have not received a response until now.
Alexithymia is a psychological construct that refers to difficulties identifying and labeling emotional states. Those with Alexithymia who have PTSD may experience intense emotional/physiological states (e.g., fear, anger, and dysphoria) that are poorly integrated with, and who are unable to verbalise or identify what they feel, if they feel anything at all.
It is very common for Trauma Survivors to be unable to tolerate intense feelings, preferring to avoid feeling by any number of ways, whether these are positive or more unhealthy for the individual concerned. Feelings of extreme fear, horror or helplessness can lead to a pattern of reactions that are constantly repeated and can be very disruptive to daily life. It is only when a survivor begins to allow themselves to feel again, getting in touch with these feelings, learning to identify these and manage these, that healing can begin to take place. Where Survivors have been shut off from their feelings for a long period of time, this has been initially to help them cope with intense experiences, experiences that felt too unbearable. By shutting down in order to cope, this can affect the development of other coping skills that are often learnt in the absense of trauma. Decreasing emotional numbness and connecting with feelings may involve building skills that allow for the capacity to feel and cope with intense emotions.
Learning to reconnect with feelings often happens with the support of an external person who can assist the Survivor in working through their experiences. Part of healing is for the Survivor to appreciate that they have already survived the worst, and feeling the feelings associated with what they went through and how this has left them feeling and reconnecting with those feelings, identifying what they do feel etc Often following trauma Survivors may may become numb, feeling themselves shut off from those around them, or they may feel overwhelmed by grief or guilt which may constantly weigh them down.
Mindfulness can be a useful technique and approach to help with the above. This is very much about looking at the window of tolerance, learning to stay within this and not going into either emotional shut down, or feeling too much but finding a middle ground, which also reduces the need to dissociate or detach yourself from feelings. By working within the window of tolerance, it will enable your capacity to look at traumatic experiences without becoming overwhelmed by the associated emotion.
Grounding techniques like deep breathing, focusing on your senses can also help to keep you in the present day rather than shutting down and once some good solid grounding techniques are in place, you may find your ability to tolerate emotions and feelings begins to improve. Also important is the ability to self soothe, engaging in self care techniques which keep you safe, and enable you to take care of yourself and your needs when things feel a bit rocky.