You'll Never Amount to Anything

I know that things that happen in the past can cause severe problems, and some of those are things like low self-esteem, or you end up insulting yourself a lot because you can't believe anything good about yourself because everything else you did was something you did wrong, or at least that's what your brain would have you believe. Anyway, I sometimes think that maybe my low self-esteem comes from the way I am treated by my family. For instance, I was pursuing a degree in culinary until I figured it wasn't something I really wanted to do, and my boyfriend came through and convinced me to change majors. He told me to pursue a writing degree since it was something I enjoy. So I did that, and somehow at least my grandma thinks I'm just copying whatever he does. Because of this, she keeps insulting me. Yesterday, I was talking about writing, and she said that I was a fuck-up like my boyfriend. I didn't really have anything to say to that other than no. Then I was informed by my father that most likely I'll never get a book out because it's not that simple. Then I got informed that I'd be without any money, and then I'd find myself in my grave still promising God, of all people, that I'd get that book out. No wonder I always feel so terrible towards my writing, and then someone comes along and is like "This is amazing." and I'm always surprised, or I just don't believe them.