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Why is it always me?
salamanderarmy February 3rd, 2016
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This is my first post here, so please be gentle.

I grew up being hurt my father from the age of little on up until after my freshman year of college. I was also sold to his friends, limp blls disappearing into the deep pockets of my father's pants.

It was painful, sometimes terrifying, often shameful, but ti's been over for a long time and all I am left with is the ghosts.

Last night I went running in town after dark like I've done a hundred times in the past.

This time it was diferent. This time there was a man and a knife and strong hands and arms and the weapon that all men are given. i don't know what happened (yay dissication) but I know I came back with my pants around my knees and soaking wet on the melting snow and I know he'd been inside of me.

I just;;.... after everything.... why me? why me again? again a gain agaiin? is this myy punishment for trying to gethelp? is this my punishment for sharing with my therapist, with group?

nomatter where i go, i bring taint. everywhere i go there is an invisible target on my back that only predators can see.

2
BestIcanbe February 3rd, 2016
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@salamanderarmy

I couldn't just read this and pass by without trying to offer some comfort. Sadly, I don't have all the answers. But you ask why me? Well rest assured it's not because you've done anything wrong. You are innocent, and you are not to blame. It also strikes me how strong you've been to seek therapy over your previous experiences, and that strength can carry you through this experience too.

Have you reported this recent incident? I would strongly suggest you do, and this will also provide you with some professional support, as well as hopefully finding you some justice, and protecting other innocent people.

Stay safe, stay strong. And please seek support. It's the least you deserve ❤️

SethK February 3rd, 2016
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@salamanderarmy Reading your post was really heartbreaking. You seem like such a gentle and kind person, from someone who's been through so much trauma and just been through more, there's no anger or hatred or anything of the sort in your post which is astounding.

Nobody will ever know why it was you. They say lightning doesn't strikes twice, but apparently that's not true. Is there a reason why it was you? Doesn't look like it, you were just a random person to the predator in such an unfortunate place last night. I pray that you have the strength to go on and overcome as you sound like a very resilient person. We're always here for you.

Salamander, No matter where you go you bring light and strength. Despite the trauma, everywhere you go there seems to be an invisible angel on your back and within you.
Please join our community so your light can shine here as well.

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