What is love
I keep trying to figure out that word means but I have a time understanding it. Is it something for the greeting cards companies to make money off of or the jewelry stores to sell blood diamonds? I know little about seeing as the first man I ever loved to me on a high speed chase and the first woman I loved beat my bloody. I wonder often how do I love myself when the two people responsible for giving me life hates me so much. I mean when you disable your child how do you say I love. Really what is the mean of this four letter word that people go in debt for lay down their life's for. I really don't even want to talk about the men who said they loved me as the disregard my body, mind, and soul. I look that the life I've lived and wonder why I am not bitter and cold. I keep finding that it's hard to give what you truly never had. I keep waking up to the reminder of the I have known the pills twice a day. To keep my seziures at bay. Plague with the day reminder. I struggle with suicide. I want to memories just to stop. It's like the song that never ends. I do wish that one day that everything that was taken from me will be returned. That the pills stop the sickness ends and I'll be able to hold my children in my arm and honestly say the words and know that their real.
@straightforwardPear7630
Hey! Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
The question you have posed to yourself is one which differs from person to person. Like you said, card companies may see it as a money-making tool or jewelry stores may see it as vital to selling expensive jewelry.
Everyone has their own perspective on what this word means. I'm sorry to hear your parents hurt you so badly. It seems to have permanently distorted your perspective of love. We don't have any control over who hates us or loves us. Loving ourselves is a different story altogether. We can choose to hang on to the way others treated us or we can start anew by treating ourselves the way we want to be treated.
The men who "loved" you didn't deserve to hurt you the way they did. I like the way you mentioned three factors: mind, body and soul. I believe these are fundamental in love.
I can't imagine what it's like to live with an illness where life feels like a monotonous loop of pain. There may be nothing you can do to end the sickness, but you can fight the memories though that too is easier said than done. There are many forms of therapy and self-help available for trauma.
I, too, hope that one day you'll come up with your own perspective of love and pass it on to your children.
Take care~Sierra❤️