The 1st attack

Hi. I'm JJi and I'm still pretty knew to 7 Cups. I am a listener and I've decided to tell my story.

When I was 9 years old, my parents separated and my mother and I moved in with family members until we could get on our feet. During our entire stay, one of my family members, an older man, molested and raped me. I waited for 3 years to say tell anyone. He threatened to kill my parents if I told and I was afraid. I decided to write a letter to another family member about what happened, but my father found the letter before I had a chance to send it. He confronted my mother, who then confronted me. When I told them my story, in the beginning, they believed me. The police were called and my family member was confronted. Of course he denied everythng but my father believed him (they did not like each other...it was strange). My family was well known in our community and rumors started to go around. My grandmother begged my mother to drop the charges and she obliged. I was alone in my suffering.

For 12 years after the initial incident, my family member stalked me. I would see him everywhere. When I was 21, he became emboldened and proposed marriage. He was still married to my blood relative. He informed me ahead of time that he was en route to my house and I wanted these assaults to end. I fitted myself with a small recorder I used in my college classes (not recommending) and I recorded our entire conversation. He was unaware. The month after that was chaotic. I informed the police, my family, my mother and father. I played all them the recording. He was arrested, sentenced on my birthday (yay), and spent 8 years in prison. The entire case wrecked my family and though I felt vindicated, I was guilty and filled with shame. My family was in pain, not over something that I did, but something that I was involved in. I dealt with my own pain and theirs too.

Now, he is out of prison, and my PTSD sees him everywhere. I am still very close with his children and his wife. Our relationship is one big trigger but I learned that his awful decision to hurt me should not hinder the love that I have for them.

Thats it.