Revisiting my Rape

So, if you have read some of my more recent posts, you'll know that I've been debating over the decision of looking at some of the things I assosiate with the day, days leading to, days following, and my rape. Today, I woke up, and have a bit of a spur of the moment confidence- I took the box from the back of my closet and shoved it into my soccer bag, before heading outside on my way to school. I kept stealing glances at it all day- until 2 PM, when I showed up to my teachers room (Mr B, for all the fans xx), and set it on his table. He sat across from me, and helped me survive the process, from the flannel I wore on my way home from the hospital, to the note from my friend she wrote after my assault, to the blood coated letter from my best friend overseas. Yes, I cried, but I did it. I showed it all to him, he touched my shoulder as he saw the pain and bruises a man left upon my frail figure. I hugged him, for a solid minute at the very least, and he stayed with me, until I was okay. Before he had to leave, he wrote "YOU ARE A SURVIVOR" in Sharpie across my self harm scars from the night following my assault. Yes, tears were shed, yes, it hurt and is still hurting, but yes, I did it. Perhaps a small step, but regardless, I think it's in a good direction.