One Month Until the 1 Year Mark -- Getting Worse
It's getting more constant. The self harm, the panic attacks, the depression episodes. The blade is getting rusty, and thus why the wounds are deeper and wider. A nosebleed (more like a waterfall of blood) accompanied the panic attack this time. My knuckles hurt from punching the wall, and there doesn't seem to a better day as I feel stuck in the same rut. Building a future is already hard enough for people who have graduated but to do so with the trauma linked to the time of graduation? How
Trauma or not figure your shit out. Despite the constant push there hasn't been results. Awareness and goals are there, now apply with whatever resourceful skills that you got. Career wise you have to go back to comparing yourself with them again. To win.
Are you content? You got your fleeting sense of wellbeing, all you had to do is to threspass into what wasn't yours. I don't want to live anymore. You got your wish.
@humorousBeing8966
I don't know what to tell somebody who doesn't want to live anymore, I don't know if it's possible to convince anybody to live, but I just can't not try... If you end your life it's just over, yes the pain is over, but everything good what might happen to you tomorrow or the day after, next year or in 10 years won't happen either... There's just no chance to know if the good couldn't outweigh the bad, you can just live and find out... And for me one of the most important reasons not to end my life always was, I didn't want them to win, I didn't want to give them so much power... They already have my past, but they won't get my future, my future is mine... Fight on hon, don't give up, not yet, your story's not over....
