New Here

I'm new here and I shared this on the grief forum and I realize I probably should've shared it here. Last year my grandma died, she was murdered by my mom. My mom abused her for a long time and she suffered a stroke and died. I was living with my mom and grandma, we had been caregivers for her as she had been diganosed with Alzheimer's many months earlier. After this happened my mother and I were both arrested and taken to a detention center. My dad bailed me out and I'm currently living with him and his wife. My mom stayed at the detention center for months before going to jail, she's there for life. I haven't seen her since last year when we were both at the detention center. I don't know if I ever can. I don't hate her but I don't understand why she did this. I've been awaiting a court hearing since last year and it keeps being moved to another date. I understand but it's frustrating and I feel stuck. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Through my work there's a therapist (that accepts my insurance) but I'm on the waiting list. I recently told someone who I trusted about what had happened and she stopped being my friend. I've always had a hard time making friends (and I don't have any) but I know this situation will make it even harder. I recently asked this online support site about this, I was told not everyone will accept that and yes they will judge me but there the ones that matter won't.