My Best Friend (Trigger Warning)

I can't fully say that we have been in the same exact situation but I understand where you're coming from. When I was 16 I was raped by a guy that I was only dating for about 2-3 months. To make things worse I was about 9 weeks pregnant by a guy who was my first love another ordeal that was stressful all on its on. Anyway I thought there was a future for me and this guy I thought I had somebody who was going to be there for me but it wasn't the case. One day me and my older cousin ran away and we ran into his friend at the train station and his friend called him and told him we were there and that we were going to spend the night at his uncles house with him. He got angry and started showing signs of jealousy and anger like don't go over there because he likes you he just going to try and talk to you but me I was like I don't care because at this point I don't have anywhere to go and this is the first time I've done something like this. So me my cousin and our close friend go to his house about 20 minutes later his friend comes to the door who at that time was my boyfriend he seemed distraught and angry like this wasn't the guy I had been dating. About 30-45 minutes later everybody is back in the room talking and I'm the only one that's left out and out of nowhere everyone leaves saying they are going to the store and I'm like I'm going and they say no stay here. They leave and he turns off the light and I'm like what are you doing and he starts feeling me up taking down my pants and then forces his self on me and holds my hands down. I'm confused and lost not knowing what to think.

So many things ran through my head, I'm 16 and pregnant, a run away my boyfriend is raping me and my cousin kind of knew this. Once he finished they show back and I'm just stuck there on the wall sitting there and next thing I know my cousin is feeling him up she's in her underwear in his lap, they're taking pics together and he treats my like I don't exist. Later on my body starts feeling weird and by the morning I wake up and I just feel empty, lonely, disgusted, non existantand most importantly I had a miscarriage blood was everywhere. I was so embarrassed and hurt. I immediately went home and still endured more "bs" from my mom she packed my clothes and put them outside the door and a few days later the MP3 that I had let my ex borrow he sold it too buy my cousin a Valentine's Day present just for me too realize they were a couple now. I spent time asking myself did this really exist, was I over exaggerating this didn't really happen and when I did try to take action I couldn't find him on MySpace or anywhere his phone was off but a year later I think I found out that he had been arrested but it's still bothers me because it's not something that I'm comfortable telling anyone especially close if my cousin could do me like that and it's been hard to find a therapist but this his given me the opportunity to let it off my chest.

@indigoTortoise2934 - Hi lovely, I wanted to reach out and check in on how you are doing today. I know this is an incredibly traumatic thing and not easy to get through, but I am hopeful that with time you've been able to heal. *hugs*