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indigoTortoise2934
353 M Embraced 3
PathStep 21 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceMay 20, 2015
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My Best Friend (Trigger Warning)
Trauma Support / by indigoTortoise2934
Last post
 December 7th, 2016
...See more I'm 21 and I was raped, by my best friend. He would always mess with me while I was sleeping or I had been drinking. He was suppose to be gay and now he has a kid. I pressed charges but the court told me they didn't want to pick it up because there wasn't enough physical evidence. Its been just over a year and I still can't stop looking for his car or thinking about seeing him. I'll have flashbacks to the times when were happy, singing in the car or telling jokes and it cripples me because he's not some man in the dark, he is a real person with real emotions, I've held him while he cried, I've helped him through some rough things and he's done the same. He was my little brother's role models, his sisters go to school with, our mothers do PTA together. We were suppose to grow up together, he wanted me to be a surrogate for his baby and now the depression and anxiety is so bad I've thought about just giving in. When I'm home alone I'm scarred that someone is going to break in and attack me, there are days I wont come out of my room, I wont eat because that's the only thing in my life I can control. I'm in therapy but I'm not sure I'll ever be ok.
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