Just wanted to let this out. *trigger warning*
I've been on and off going to 7cups and apps similar to this, I feel so lonely and I always try to look for people or a place where I can freely talk about how I feel. Sometimes the case, I'm ashamed but mostly they don't really want to listen to me. I feel like losing my mind. I have so much anger and fear in me, even before the things that people did to me but I'm not becoming stronger like many people said. "Toughen it up", they said, but I wasn't born like that. I feel weaker. I just almost lost my control because I have this thought for days that somebody is going to do something bad to me and I'm so tired !! of people wanting to hurt me, of thinking people are going to hurt me. I know it's not proven yet, I know it's just still in my head but I know, I know I'm not safe. I just know. So then, I treated this person super badly when they talked or near me. I almost lose my control because I'm so angry at them, so angry even if they did nothing wrong, yet. I'm so angry that I'm not good to be sitting around here. It's eating up my mind, I shouldn't be like this. I just wish to have my mind erased.
I think I know how you feel, sometimes it's like we're invisible, and even when heard, we're not really understood. I'm also learning to deal with my emotions, it's hard to be alone in the middle of a crowd. But it's good to think that we're not alone and that other people feel what we feel and it's these people who will really understand us - you're not alone ❤️
Thank you so much for showing up and to make sure I'm not alone in this. ❤