I think I'll start one
I just need to vent. My abuser is dating my friend. I wasn't super close with her. Especially around the time they got together. I think they've been together for about two years now. I really don't think he's a repeat offender. He never hurt his wife while they were together. I just pray every day that they break up. I just want him to go away. Because he's with her, he's been getting closer and closer to me and my life. It's exhausting to stress every day about where he will show up next or what he is telling her about me. The only way to free myself is to leave everything I know and start fresh. I don't want to have to. Why can't he go? My boyfriend thinks that if I just told people what he did to me five years ago, it would solve everything. He doesn't understand that that would just destroy me all over again as well as destroy my friend's life too.
I'm tired. Trauma is exhausting.
@Beansidhe0
Hugs. I am sorry to hear about that. It can be hard to deal with having your abuser being so close to your life. *hugs* we are here for you.
This is exhausting. I go through the motions in my head all the time (multiple times a day, every day) of telling friends what happened. Part of me is begging me to tell somebody, but I know if I do it will be the beginning of the end. There's no such thing as disclosing privately to one person. They're all his friends and even if they promise, they won't be able to keep it to themselves. Either because they'll believe me wholeheartedly and feel the need to do something or doubt my word and go ask him how it really went down. There's no way to beat this. I'll be screaming into the void about what happened to me and how I feel for the rest of my life because I can't tell anyone. It would ruin everything.