I don't know how to take myself seriously
I've had a horrible childhood and I know it's made me the person I am today. I hate it and work really hard to change it everyday. I want to talk about it but i can't. When I do find a way to bring it up, I put it casually. I can't take it seriously myself and i hate it. I cannot deal with it if it were any more real to me and I know it's hurting me. I have to tell someone and have them understand and support me, but I don't know how to make it look like I need the help.
I hope you are feeling better, it's hard to talk to others about something you're going through, i think it's fear that they won't understand you, judge or just look at your differently. I don't think I had a bad childhood but I have my demons I fight with everyday and it's also hard for me to express myself. Start a diary, a blog... sometimes it helps when you type/ write away. Let's your feelings out even if only you will ever read them.