I am not sure why this is important but it troubles me
As I said I am not sure why this troubles me but it does because there is something in it, that speaks with me yet I do not know what it is saying to me. I read this awhile ago and it has been in my thoughts recently, like a brain itch in my brain. In saying so it might be nothing and there is no rush to come to understand it. I found the English translation because I could not hope it do that myself. From Saint Theresa, Chuch of Maria Della Vittoria. Please do not read if you might get upset.
*****Trigger warning Religion, blood and something else*****
Beside me, on the left hand, appeared an angel in bodily form... He was not tall but short,
and very beautiful; and his face was so aflame that he appeared to be one of the
highest rank of angels, who seem to be all on fire.... In his hands I saw a great
golden spear, and at the iron tip there appeared to be a point of fire. This he plunged
into my heart several times so that it penetrated to my entrails. When he pulled it out
I felt that he took them with it, and left me utterly consumed by the great love of God.
The pain was so severe that it made me utter several moans. The sweetness caused
by this intense pain is so extreme that one cannot possibly wish it to cease.
There is something beautiful and terrifying in her words. I believe I know why although it is rather haunting. Saint Theresa today would be on medicine at the very least, just to warn you.
Ame
@AmalieAnne
As a devout Roman catholic, I completely understand your feelings. I've been hurt and confused by the teachings and words of the saints, and the church. It's not my place to say that the testimonies of saints/the church are good or harmful for you as we can conclude different meanings and interpretations by its words. However, I believe religion and God should make you feel comforted and if it provides no comfort and generally makes you feel troubled, then I would say these words are not meant for you.
Perhaps later in life you will be able to understand and take away some sort of goodness from these words, but for now I would concentrate on what makes sense and positively inspires you.
I hope that makes sense and helps. 
xx
@TrueArrow
If you are wanting to understand the words of St. Theresa, I would read about religious ecstasy. However, I want to emphasize that it's a complex and difficult emotion/gift to understand. If reading about it makes you feel troubled then, please take care of yourself and your emotional wellness.