Abusive "relationship" or perhaps just my ignorance took over me
Just a year ago, I had an affair with a 33-year old man who was married with 2 kids. I was 18. I loved him and I thought he loved me back, turned out he only used me for sexual purposes, since he wasn't satisfied with his sex life. He kept abandoning me after our sexual activities and foolishly, I still reached out for him even though I knew he would forsake me. It's all over now but I'm left with scars (both literal and mental one. I did self-harm throughout that relationship). Now I even flinch whenever a guy touches my hand. Although it's been months since we last met, I still have unbearable panic attacks whenever I think of it. Help?
I did something similar. From 18-age 20 I dated a 35 year old man with two kids who technically wasn't divorced but was seperated.. Kind of. He would keep leaving me for her but coming back to me. Everything was about sex though we said we loved each other. Our worth didn't exist since we talked about dying together all the time and I watched him try and he didn't stop me from trying. It was a vicious cycle that took forever to end and I am still struggling with it.
Get your revenge on him. Revenge is the sweetest thing on earth and the feeling of getting revenge for what he did to you will be great. Start with leaving messages for him where his wife can see them, maybe even his children if they are old enough to understand it. Call and try to get her on the phone and ask for him, act surprised when you "learn" that there is a woman at his home. Write letters and put some good smelling stuff on it so he cant hide it. Leave cards at the door. And after quite some time you "accidently" are where he and his wife are and call him by his name, maybe call him sweety or something and attempt to "hug" or even "kiss" him and whenhe pushes you back you ask him, why he is so cold to you now, when he was such a nice man to you back then. Ask him what happened to his promise that he loved you and wanted to be with you. At that point you wont have to do anything anymore, his wife will see what happebed, shell connect 1 and 1, understand where the cards came from and the letters. If you think its enough maybe make a scene when you meet them after he pushes you back and act hurt over him dropping you and tell him that you are upset that he just used you for sex. Maybe cry a little if you feel like it. If his wife doesnt leave him, she will at least never trust him again and his life will be hell for a long time. Just dont do it for too long, everything needs to happen over the course of a few weeks, so that you dont look like a big time stalker. If you have pictures of you two or messages he wrote you, put them into the letters or something. Make his life hell and get back what he took from you.
The best revenge you ladies can get is by living your life to the fullest and becoming happy again. Let karma do its work. Don't be the crazy ex.
Oh im not even a lady but thanks i guess :3 :P I mean, what i suggested was just what i woulf do. You play with my feelings, destroy me and my life and treat me like shit? Ill crush you and your life until nothing is left of you. I dont see the point in "living your life to the fullest so he sees what he missed". Come on people, especially women, dont make yourself smaller than you are. Stand up for yourselves. If you get treated like that and dropped, im pretty sure that he wont even see you live your life to the fullest, if you even can because he left you crippled. So it is no revenge if he doesnt see how good your life is. And its really unlikely, that he would even care, because he only saw her as a toy and dropped her like a hot potatoe. By now he has completely forgotten about her and cares about as much as the woman living next door. I mean, there are only really 2 possibilities: either get over it, forget it and go on, but if you are stillt attached to him and he has left you too broken and you need to "close the case", the only way is to get back at him. And hell never see it coming. But then again i have quite a temper, so when i get upset my view gets really limited...