hi, show some love. ❤️ TW
Hi! I’m new here.
you can call me lilmissjaded.
i’m a 23 year old female from USA.
I’m *healing* through the aftermath of human/sex trafficking, rape, suicidal attempts, addiction and daddy issues just to sum it all up.
I obviously have PTSD and bipolar tendencies.
My anxiety leaves me unable to attach to people and I tend to push away all my support. I truly feel nobody understands me.
I feel as if I have to put a wall up to everyone new, and I have to protect those around me from me.
I know I’m a mess and drain joy. I complicate everything for those around me.
I guess when you see the horrors of the world, it’s hard to see it as innocent ever again.
I have panic attacks when I engage in sexual activity, leading me to be celibate.
i’m so scared I will be alone forever because no one will be able to handle my trauma and the aftermath it left on me.
i would love to speak with someone who feels similarly or has overcame these feelings just to give me hope.
my current state is barely living. I created a journal on here I would love for you guys to join in. I am tired of feeling so alone in my thoughts.
@lilmissjaded Hey :) Welcome to 7cups
I'm really sorry to hear about everything you went through. Its hard - trying to move forward and out of the past. So much happens that leaves us fearful and anxious. We want attachments but we only let people get so close - if at all. The walls sometimes raise and lower depending on where we are in our heads - if something triggers us we raise them. If we get alittle comfortable we might lower them but never fully. And we feel noone fully understands us - even if they went through similar situations. I think its all just the way it is. You went through some really bad experiences and to me those walls and feeling like you have to protect people from you make perfect sense
The same with the panic attacks. It makes sense that they would happen during that activity. I haven't - I mean I'm celibate too
Have you talked with a therapist? I know it can be scary but a good therapist can really help work through everything you're dealing with. No pressure of course but it might be something to think about
There's alot of good people here. You might want to check out this week's check in Here It would give you a chance to introduce yourself if you'd like to
You're not alone but I do know it often feels that way
*offers a safe gentle hug* Try to let this be a safe place for yourself ok?
Thank you so much. I needed everything you said.
this community has been so amazing and it’s so great to know there are others out there. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@lilmissjaded You're welcome 🙂 I hope you find alot of helpful areas here at Cups. I'm sorry too - for sending you a link to where you had allready been. I should have checked first. If you have any questions about anything with the trauma community that's a good place to ask too ok? Take care ok - I hope to see you around ❤️
Hello how are you doing tonight
Hi
And sorry that you have experienced the pain of this world.
You are a survivor of terrible experiences. I’m so glad that you are posting and please keep talking because we hear you,
Sending you a virtual hug .
