Understanding my abusive relationship

About a year ago I got divorced,our relationship was complicated and i had a lot of guilt about things I had done in the relationship. I had done some terrible things,star fights or other things like that, in attempt to end the relationship. I was unhappy and felt the relationship was not giving me what I needed so I did things to try and fill these needs including hurting someone. By the end I was so filled with guilt over what I had done I took full responsibility for our relationship ending and made excuses for the things she had done. Now a year later and with lot of therapy I can see how she had been abusing me,she was never physically,but she abused me mentally and emotionally. She would control me by manipulating my feelings and cutting me off from family and friends. Once it came out that I had hurt someone she used it to control me further. She even went as far as to use my suicidal thoughts against me. It was hard for me to see this abuse,as a man I only heard about things like this happening to woman and never to men. My friends saw what was going on but where unsure what to do. With the help of my therapist I am able to see just how unhealthy the relationship was and now I am working through the pain,anger and shame.