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wolfman77
661 M Embraced 5
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts64 Forum posts61 Forum upvotes77 Current upvotes77 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 15, 2022
Bio

Hello all, I am a divorced man in his 40's. I was in a abusive relationship for almost two decades,during that time I ended up hurting someone else because I was depressed and ignoring my problems. I am in the process of rebuilding my life and taking responsibility for my actions. I have been diagnosed with hand full of mental health issues that I am learning to overcome and cope with. After a year and a half of therapy I have able to see how these issues have effected my life and how these issues have developed. The last few years have been hard but eye opening to who I am and what was going on around me

Recent forum posts
The way I feel seen
Poetry / by wolfman77
Last post
November 16th, 2023
...See more I carry a lot guilt over things I have done in the past and in my minds eyes I assume everyone can se the black stain on my soul. So this poem reflex that fear and how I wish to overcome it Monster I am that witch most people fear Long in tooth and claw Eyes beedy and black Skin corse and scaly Breath hot and Wretch For this is how their fears see me But I am just a man Others I have hurt Mistakes I have made Order I have broken A man who has been hurt Tossed aside Left broke By others fears Excuses shell I not make Nor promises to break But a chance I ask To mend my mistakes And to show you all I am not the monster you perceive
Simple moments
Poetry / by wolfman77
Last post
November 10th, 2023
...See more As I grow older and I look back at life I realize just how many of my favorite moments are simple and small compared to the grand scheme of things. So here is a poem to help remind us to cherish such simple times. I hope you enjoy Moments To often are we so focused on those big events that we over the look the small ones Those moments that build relationships and turn stagers into friends. It is in those moments that life happens and where our most cherished memories should lay.
Childhood
Poetry / by wolfman77
Last post
November 13th, 2023
...See more My childhood was hard,I didn't grow hungry or poor,but I was starved for attention and acceptance. This is a poem about those feelings. I hope you enjoy The trauma effect A child unwanted Their heart left mute A smile hides the pain They learn to lie The wants they seek They find In the unreal Their heart is shaped By expectations unfulfilled Unwanted,unwashed and unloved Approval they seek But never find Smiles,lies,and rejections Are all they are have
My blue skys
Poetry / by wolfman77
Last post
November 13th, 2023
...See more This is a simple poem about moving forward,I hope you enjoy My blue sky My dreams are simple but their mine. And all I need to achieve them is fuel to fly. So I shall inflate my self-esteem and move on to bluer skys
Hello
Newbie Hub / by wolfman77
Last post
November 8th, 2023
...See more Hello all,I had been about a year or more since I have been active on here so I thought I would reintroduce myself. I am a in my 40's and divorced. I was in a sixteen year long relationship where I was emotionally and mentally abused,I did some horrible things In an attempt to end the relationship. A long the way I ended up hurting someone by trying to push my needs on them. Now on the other side of a rough divorce and a lot of therapy later I have started to heal and rebuild my life
A tinder poem
Poetry / by wolfman77
Last post
November 12th, 2023
...See more A lot of my work deals with my negative emotions and processing my guilt and pian. So lately I have been trying to write about my more repressed emotions such love and my romantic nature. So I hope you enjoy simple poem. The shape I love the shape our hands make when intertwined,fingers laced and palm to palm. It is amazing how such a simple thing as holding another hand can mend hearts and build bridges to romance and friendship in Is equal measure. Few thing can match it's power but non can match it shape. Few creatures on earth can do this and to all are able it is a special gesture,one than can transcend language and species. To some like me this act is magical and can be greater than any words or Intimate acts. For never have i felt more special than in the hand of another. So I offer you my hand,hoping for a moment suspended in time and in doing so I shall hand you my heart.
My frist poem
Poetry / by wolfman77
Last post
November 9th, 2023
...See more Hello all,I have been writing poetry for a few months as part of my therapy and I would like to share my frist poem. It is about how negative my life an seem to be. I hope you enjoy Darkness A darkness surrounds me Like a blanket it smothers No stars or moon Complete and inky This forever night That eclipses all of me How I long for the light,rays of freedom to shine upon my face And for the shade that holds me in place To fade without a trace How i dream of the day when my soul is free to take flight mind to wonder with thoughts of delight And emotions unshackled form the shadows of doubt Will forever shell I be swallowed by this darkness? Or shell one day i be free
Understanding my abusive relationship
Trauma Support / by wolfman77
Last post
November 9th, 2023
...See more About a year ago I got divorced,our relationship was complicated and i had a lot of guilt about things I had done in the relationship. I had done some terrible things,star fights or other things like that, in attempt to end the relationship. I was unhappy and felt the relationship was not giving me what I needed so I did things to try and fill these needs including hurting someone. By the end I was so filled with guilt over what I had done I took full responsibility for our relationship ending and made excuses for the things she had done. Now a year later and with lot of therapy I can see how she had been abusing me,she was never physically,but she abused me mentally and emotionally. She would control me by manipulating my feelings and cutting me off from family and friends. Once it came out that I had hurt someone she used it to control me further. She even went as far as to use my suicidal thoughts against me. It was hard for me to see this abuse,as a man I only heard about things like this happening to woman and never to men. My friends saw what was going on but where unsure what to do. With the help of my therapist I am able to see just how unhealthy the relationship was and now I am working through the pain,anger and shame.
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