Tw-self-destruction

Im drowning! I cant breathe! I feel so hollow annd empty. I just cant take it anymore. Whats the point. I have so much guilt, shame, pain. I have so many questions that no one can amswer. I have so much anger. Why did my daughter die. Why would god take my son 10 months later? Why was i raped as a child? Why did my therapist tell me it was my fault. Why did the man i love leave me on wgat should of been our dead daughters 5th birthday. Why am i still here?! Why cant i feel anything more then just pain and emptiness. Why do i hate myself so much. Just why..