"Trauma"

However there's one category of people who are also a part of this "trauma" yet they're never helped off. Apparently they're the first responders. The only difference between them or let's be more specific, their response...The difference between their response and the public's response isn't about how well they are when dealing with s**t It's that they only get to leave this scene, just leave the scene as the scene never leaves us by the way, so we leave the scene to respond to another call just right after.

Talking about trauma, a bystander seeing this was enough to get traumatised for life, yet we see this on daily basis yet are expected to function normally. I posted about this before but I'm again mentioning it here, I developed this numbness which is apparently a mechanism to protect me from all this s**t. But..this isn't right though. I realised that now feeling could actually be much worse than not feeling but at the same time not feeling doesn't feel right. I'm traumatised and numb to the bones. When I ever talking about it, it's either that people are comparing "trauma" to see who's worse or tell me to quit my job.

Comparing trauma is actually triggering and pretty often compelling to make me talk about all what I went through or what I experienced to actually show them what actual s**t is, which isn't great for me. Yes I get they're in pain, I get they're "traumatised". Yes, a paper cut is indeed painful but don't compare that to an amputated leg. That's the same s**t with comparing "trauma".

Telling me to quit my job? That's another point. Just imagine going to every paramedic out there and telling them to quit. If we actually do listen to them, it's time to kiss the ambulance service goodbye and let the world burn down. So please instead of telling me to quit, know that this is my choice. Whether I quit or not, I know what I'm doing. I just wish I had support, never wished to be in a different career though. I'm a paramedic, I'm EMS, f**k whomever tells me to do otherwise.