Making conversations with men.

The more stable guys I don't think will want me as they get to know me more.. And the more unstable guys I don't feel will be good for my son.

I know this is probably just a narrative I'm feeding myself and that life doesn't work like that and that keeping on socialising and taking issues that come up one step at a time is probably the solution. 

But I guess a part of me wants to retreat back into my safe place inside disconnect from the rest of the world. 

Am not sure what to tell you... Socializing has an inherent risk, sure. So does everything humans do. No activity is 100% safe. There are risks in isolating oneself & avoiding other people; that is a fact I have only recently begun to learn. Perhaps you should keep that in mind.

Re your being a single mother: I wish I had something positive to say but I've always been one to tell it like it is, especially when trying to help someone. The reality is that if you are trying to find a companion & possible romance, your child will be a significant obstacle as long as you're raising him & he lives at home. It is not his fault, of course. The reason lies in evolution & biology, not just for humans but for all sentient organisms. For over two billion years now, surviving & passing on one's genes has been the game living creatures play. Until very recently it was the only game in town. To expend effort in raising a child that is not one's own is, from an evolutionary standpoint, self-defeating & a total waste of energy. That we civilized folk may consider it a kind & considerate act does not make it any less self-defeating; those who do so perpetuate someone else's genes & chromosomes into the future, not their own. It is for this reason that finding & keeping a good man will be hard to pull off. In many places most single men (though not all) will avoid a woman with children from a previous relationship.

There are other reasons as well. Try to think about it from the man's POV: if you take up with a woman who has a child by someone else, the situation will be complicated at best. There's an underlying tension there. You can certainly support her financially but you can't correct the boy's behavior if he gets out of line; if you try, he'll just say "you're not my father, so I don't have to listen to you!" The son's presence means his father will always be in the woman's life to some degree, unless he doesn't care or is legally barred from the woman's house & life...if not then you know the guy will always be around, sooner or later. There will probably be mutual dislike between you & him. The son may resent your being there & "taking his father's place" in your relationship with his mother... You can never rest easy in such a situation; it's the proverbial can of worms no matter how well you get along with your gal. So most single men avoid it.

That does not mean you shouldn't go out, socialize & meet people. You may well find someone in spite of everything I listed above. You'll never know unless you try! Judging from your spelling & word choice, I presume you are somewhere in Great Britain. That may increase your odds but I can't say for sure...all I know is Britain & her allied nations are not the US, so their cultures are a bit different from ours.

@Sasher That is very understandable, my friend. It truly is. It is ok to be careful.