I think I'm getting worse (TW: SA)
matchamochi07
August 29th, 2023
I'm a 22 years old girl. posted here a few months ago and i thought i was getting better. But i was wrong, i think I'm starting to develop p**n addiction to deal with my sexual abuse trauma. I am very well aware that it's a form of self destruction and i know i need help. But i am so scared. I don't open up to people easily in real life and I am really scared to go to therapist because I am scared my parents will not understand my choice and the reason i go to in the first place because they don't know about my trauma. Idk what to do. I managed to surpress my trauma for over 10 years, sometimes i hope i can do that again.
generousBeing7908
August 30th, 2023
@matchamochi07 I’m really sorry to hear what happened to you Matcha. No one deserves to go through that.
I’ve dealt with opening up about SA to therapists- it feels uniquely awful to talk about and just so raw, especially with therapists that are newer. After time though, I was able to talk through my issues and get my standard of living back to normal. My parents were also very critical of therapy, and I put off going for years because I had internalized the thoughts and fears from them. IMMEDIATELY I learned that it was the right decision and was able to feel like myself again.
I would HIGHLY recommend pushing through the discomfort and feelings and shame of going to therapy you have form your parents- addiction and SA are very normal and can be treated by a village of folks who’ve been through the exact same thing. There is NO shame in getting help, and ultimately no one deserves to dictate whether or not you get to heal.
