I don't understand this.... ( Possible trigger warning)
Why did my parent treat all us kids so terribly.( Yes a rhetorical question). Made us feel like we were less than human. The pets got better treatment. When he interacted with friends , neighbors or co -workers he was like a different person - a nice person- one we never saw. I know he was an abusive narcissist now that I'm in therapy but why would you treat your own kids like dirt and hate them, physically and emotionally abuse them. Making them feel defective...It's made our adult lives really rough and lonely. It made all of us extremely vulnerable as adults to other predatory people. And it divided us and made it near impossible to have a healthy/any relationship with each other. So much was stolen that we struggle with . Looking always looking for love, but it's elusive...
Struggling still,
ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
I understand your situation and agree i think some people feel in any family situation they can treat others badly but expect love and respect simply cause they are family.........
Family either by blood or marriage etc is NOT a free pass to be a jerk to those in it...... It really sticks out when the person or people are totally different among neighbors or general public etc.... They can be charming and considerate etc but as soon as home a total creep.
I do think it effects adult children future relationships as you may find yourself in a situation similar or not see signs early enough to avoid these people.
ALL these things are not the fault of child but your parents had issues .....many never seek the help until they are called out on it ......
seldom are since they do not recognize their behavior as wrong etc .....these are the same parents who as they grow old wonder why grown kids openly avoid them and are lonely..... i see two types ones who hang on to the idea they are fine and kids are jerks OR those who tell tall tales in order to save face with the insignificant people like their social circle trying to pretend they have a relationship with their child.
i returned to home town after my mom passed .........I heard a bunch of crazy stories about why i was just so busy i could not visit........ because she could not face as i told her i was tired of being put down or criticized every time i even attempted to see her.
