I don’t know where to begin
Possibly trigger warnings- But I’ll start here. Ever since the start of Covid I’ve barely left my house. I don’t leave my house. I have no friends and almost no family. I don’t have a lot of support and it feels so lonely and isolating. I hate talking about my problems and I feel like a burden to my significant other. He never makes me feel that way but the amount of guilt I have for being a recluse bothers me. We used to be so outgoing but now I’m afraid of everything. I’ve always had health anxiety but it’s gotten worse as I got older. I’m 35 I feel like I shouldn’t be like this at my age. I feel like a little kid who can’t take care of myself. I do t know what to do. Depression is a new thing for me but anxiety has always been here. Depression makes me lose my appetite, makes me lay around all day, stay up all night and it gives me anxiety because I want to feel better but I can’t. I’m lost.
@crimsonEast4639
Dear friend, Let me begin by saying thank you for this post. Thank you for the courage it took to reach out. I resonate a lot with your story. Anxiety is one thing, but then depression comes, and it zaps our energy and the need to just hide away. This is how depression creeps up/ I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Have you consulted with your doctor about this? It may be hard to tell your doctor, but it can be helpful. I hope things begin to change for you, but The best start is getting help, and then once they help you, we are here to support you along the way. Hang in there my friend❤️
Thank you for saying this. I feel so guilty talking about this because I don’t want to bring anyone down with me ‘y doctor knows about my anxiety but since the depression is somewhat new I’m afraid she’ll want to put me on medication.
I had a panic disorder that she put me on medication but I worked very hard in therapy and was able to come off the meds and didn’t have a panic attack or much anxiety for years. It’s weird that depression makes puttin in the work with a therapist seem so impossible. Thank you for responding. Really means alot
@crimsonEast4639
You are welcome😊. I am here when you just need an ear. You hang in there, I am glad that you reached out. We all need friends and some one to share with. Take care.❤️
Wow crimsonEast, I can relate to a lot of what you say...I have extreme agoraphobia, but for different reasons. I also have no friends nor family. All I have is my little one and my (long distance) partner. I sometimes feel like a burden to him too, and he helps me out a lot.
I'm scared to leave my home, because I have stalkers(some who want to do me harm), and I sometimes stumble upon this one person who nearly made me unalive and it triggers bad memories...The police are unhelpful and claim they can't "find him" to serve the restraining order. They also took 3 hours last time to save me from this person, so I can't rely on the police...
I'm hoping that moving out of the city/state will get me out of this funk.
I used to describe myself as a "stray cat" or "nomad at heart".
I would always be travelling and exploring town -- alone.
I felt my heart was full of wonder and curiosity, but over time...it disappeared.
Similar to you, just been feeling depressed....feeling less like going outside.
Feeling less like socializing...
My medical issues have been slowing me down, making me less likely to want to go outside, due to fear and pain.
I've been slowly trying to push myself out of that rut... It's difficult, it's not easy. A lot of times I rather do nothing and lie down, but I'm trying to take baby steps....I'm waiting for my partner to come visit soon, so I don't feel afraid to leave the home, and maybe then I'll feel OK with being alone again like I used to.