Hurt

@Tinkerbell526

Hello. I would follow your gut feelings, they usually tell us 

A good rule of thumb is that if something is in your "highest interest" it is also in the highest interest of the other person. The other person might not like when we create a healthy boundary or take care of ourselves...maybe that forces them into a healthier position that they are uncomfortable with right now. But that is still the best thing for them. 

It's not really a healthy role for you to be the only person he leans on...not for you or him. I totally understand how hard it is to feel like you are leaving him alone. But, there is a pretty robust recovery community on and offline. He can find support even if you are not it. 

It’s really really hard to leave. There are so many mixed up emotions.

This doesn’t sound like a good relationship for either of you.

A relationship is like the roof of a temple that is held up by 2 pillars. You are a pillar each holding up the roof. You both have to stand strong and independent to hold that roof up.

Even if you want to hold that roof up, if one or both of you is crumbling and cracked, the roof will not stay up.

You can’t fix this on your own.

Staying in the relationship is not good for you and maybe it’s not good for him either.

Your first priority is to do the best thing for you. You have to come first in your life, that’s not being selfish it’s survival.

He’s “done” things to you, if that means he has hurt you physically and or mentally you have to leave. But you need support. Can you get support from family, friends or organization?

It’s so hard to make that step and there are many people who can’t leave and it ends up very badly for them.

I really hope you get yourself to a safer situation. You will feel and think differently once you get away and process what you’ve been through. Don’t overthink this.

Take care please of you ❤️